i need some answers

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i need some answers

Hi there I have just finished a year of chemotherapy, radiotherapy, a major bowel operation to remove a tumour & lymph nodes, had a stoma for nine months, went through another six months of chemo then an operation to reverse the stoma. I am yet to have my first checkup which will be a CT Scan & colonoscopy. What i would like to know is does this ever get any easier i am feeling very anxious about the first lot of scans, how will i cope if they do find something, even though i am usually very positive and i have a fairly good feeling there is nothing there, is it more scary for the first lot of tests or each time you go through this. Also i feel like i dont know alot about my diagnosis, is this normal. Im not sure if i am not asking enough questions, it all happened very quickly, im from the country and went to have a colonoscopy on a thursday was told they found a tumour that day, saw the colorectal surgeon the next day and it all went from there, six weeks later i was starting chemotherapy. I have had a few people ask me what type of tumour it was, whats my CEA level etc? These sort of things i have no idea about, do other oncologists tell their patients or do you have to ask? Also when are you in remission? I get that asked alot and i dont know if i am currently in remission or do i have to wait the five years? Just wouild like to hear your thoughts and would also like to hear from other people who have been through the same thing.
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