So, without going in to great detail at this moment, I have just told my partner how much time I have left, and now I have to tell my family. So, how do I do this? I was hoping I'd have 4 weeks up my sleeve until my next doctors appointment, but my partner snooped around too much and found out that something was very wrong - so I had to tell him... Now I just have to tell my aunt when she gets home...tonight. The funny thing is that they all thought I was a drug addict and didn't have cancer at all. If only that was the case. I'm just not sure how to tell her the gruesome truth. ... View more

So - most of the time I try and remain as upbeat as possible, and really have faced this whole Cancer diagnosis by way of avoidance - I go in, get blood taken, get pumped full of chemo, go home, and do it all again a week later. I think because of my long family history with Cancer I have dealt with it in such a way so it won't affect me as badly - because I know first hand the ugly side of this dreaded disease. So, two weeks ago when I had my platelet transfusion, I was informed that my 'Cancer Markers' (whatever they're supposed to be - I really should ask more questions!) are up, and they should be going down instead of going up. So I was the unlucky recipient of two different Chemo regimes for two different types of Cancer - Uterine and NHL...until last week when I got sick with first a head cold/flu, and then gastro. My Oncologist, or rather, the doctor that works for my Oncologist has said that I need to take a few weeks off from treatment, and then get some scans done, and see just what it is we're dealing with. I was totally okay with coping with this on my own - meanwhile lying to my family and saying that my treatment was still continuing etc, etc. Until Yesterday - when both my partner and my Aunt (who I live with) came in and bombarded me with questions - wanting to know what was going on and that something wasn't right with the whole situation. I then got asked the funniest question: Do we have a Cancer Problem, or a Drug Problem?!! The two of them were starting to think that due to many different changes and increases in pain medications that in fact I was a drug addict and not a Cancer Patient! Although I can laugh at it now, yesterday all I could do was cry - "If only I was a drug addict - that would be easier than dealing with this" - was my reply to them. So then everything came out - and I'm mad about it. I'm mad because I was dealing with it by ignoring it - by 'sweeping it under the rug' and now that they all know, I honestly feel like I'm going through all the different stages of grief. All I can think about is my soon to be 16 month old daughter - who was very premature - had a hard start to life - and is still on oxygen. After seeing my mother and other family members and friends go through cancer - I'm not naive - I'm scared to death. In a way it's a weight off my shoulders - but dealing with it by not dealing with it was SO much easier than this. :( Plus I feel awful for lying to my family for 2 weeks saying I was going up for chemo when I wasn't. Coming from someone who says they hate people that lie - I'm now a total hypocrite. Not a good day for me today. 😞 Cancer Sucks. ... View more

Good Evening all, So, I have Chemo again on Wednesday. My Chemo nurse Maureen and my doctors keep suggesting I get a syringe driver, or pump, so that I have a continuous flow of morphine going in to help with pain etc. I'm a little worried about it as people seem to get addicted to things so quickly, or their bodies do rather, and they don't have a say in it. I'm also worried about the withdrawal as well. When my mum had one - this was about 14 years ago - they cut her off cold Turkey and it was absolute hell for her. I'm scared about going through that. :( Now, with the PICC line - does it go in a vein - like, in your arm, or in your chest? Does it require much maintainence? How long can it stay in for? Does it hurt when they put it in? Because so many doctors - like when I had one of my lumbar punctures - said 'You may feel a little bit of pressure' .... PRESSURE?!!! It was like a lightning bolt going up my spine. So now whenever a doctor mentions anything about pressure I'm like - NOPE .. I'M OUTTA HERE! Take Care, Jo xo ... View more

Hi Everyone, I hope you're having a good and side-effect free day! For those of you receiving Radium, I have a question: Did you get a permanent/semi-permanent tattoo, or just a mark/dot/crosshair type thing done with a marker that lasted a few days and then came off? Because I have radium on the lymphnodes on my neck, I didn't want anything permanent, so they used this pen that basically looked like a Nikko/ Texta pen, and was black, marked me up in all the different places, and then took photos and also Xrays. The marks faded after a few days, and now when I go in each week for Radium they shine a light on the area, look at it under either Xray, or some other type of viewer, and then they go ahead with the treatment. It's a little weird as my mum had tattoos that lasted for ages, as did a previous boyfriends of mine's dad. Any input / explanation would be very much appreciated!! Jo xo ... View more