Dear Lisa, your in shock - you've just had it dumped on you. And now, the tests to see what its doing, and what the medicos can offer in return. The oral contrast stuff - no idea, maybe there taking a good look around, had that (tastes like cheap orange cordial) as well as the poke a hole in you and pump this stuff into you as well. It will get easier, hard to believe at the moment, but it will get easier to cope with. Be as nice as you can to yourself, relax any way you can, the whole process flows at its own rate, so just go with it for a little while and it will become clearer. Andrew the oldhippy. ... View more

Cinamin - Yep, I find the same thing - the loss of physical ability - muscle wastage as a side effect is a really good one, wonder what genius thought of it? (bastard) I cop it bad after chemo for a few days/week - trouble is, your brains also a bit scrambled so its very hard to recognise whats happening and just sit back and let it pass. And in some ways, its almost a personal insult - what do you mean, I CANT do that anymore - and this is normal, everyday type things, not climbing Mt Everest... Andrew ... View more

Dont know what lymphodemia is, but...yeh, I do that. Stuff this cancer business, do what you can, when you can. Forget the body is stuffed sometimes.... Andrew the old hippy ... View more

Orgone - me, not positive - dont make me paranoid! Andrew the old hippy ... View more

Dying? - Its cool, just the way it is. And I am getting bloody confused again on the thread and persons, this site is a pig to use. No offense meant, not meaning to be deep and meaningful, no hot buttons intentionally poked with a pointy stick, was originally replying to debs post re paranoia...how it got to here, no idea really..... Andrew the oldhippy. ... View more

Dont know about the frustration bit - its not worth chucking a hissy fit over, its more annoying than anything else. The "niceness" of it all grates - is this the time for social rituals? - I think not. I have lung cancer, long term (ie, 5 years) survival rate is 4% so I aint kidding anyone, least of all myself. Chemo sucks, there will come a time when its not worth the effort and thats it. Or a dose of the flu gets me - already battling the common cold! Saying anything helpful? - you did, as do most people - your raising it for discussion, as Storm said, we face the great taboo - ie, dying. I am ok about it, accept my fate. Dont know how the rest of the trip will be, all I can do is wait and see and speculate/talk crap with others in the same situation. So, life is still OK, hope it continues that way for as long as possible. Week after chemo aint nice, but get some good time in exchange - fair enough, its the only card in the deck anyway. Andrew the oldhippy ... View more

Sandy - it will get better. Talk to your oncologist about the doseage, may be adjustable (dont know) - it will get easier, and you will have some idea of what to expect. It scrambles your head a bit, so logical, sensible thinking is hard at times. (ie, drink lots of water next time).....remember remember... Andrew ... View more

Hey Maddie - deb is quite right, you need a break - do something that you normally dont do, like, say...go out with some friends and have a good time? ... Its collateral damage - everyone is affected by the C journey, those closest the most. Its not really that personal, its not just about you, but your the one who is there, so you cop it. Sorry. People are hurting, they lash out and say things they regret. People dont know what to do, so they withdraw. Others cant cope, perhaps visions of their own mortality or painful memories of someone elses journey.. Anti depressants can help, its up to you if you want to. They dont zonk you out, (except for the big shiny red ones, dont touch them, truly horrible ) - nothing will change around you, but you seem to be able to be calmer about it all. So, be of stout heart and good cheer, young lady. The whole trip is a learning experience for all of us, hits a lot of things most people haven't had to deal with until now...it can be rough, for sure. Andrew the oldhippy ... View more

Well, if your paranoid, so am I. The bright cheery optimistic lets totally ignore reality brigade are driving me NUTS!!!!! Short of doing a bolt, (tempting, just head for the bush) how can you tell them to shut up? - your the one whose got the (insert data here) chance of dying, and we have to bloody well worry about....wait for it......hurting other peoples feelings! Andrew the oldhippy. ... View more