July 2011
Yep, it really sucks, doesn't it. In time, it will get easier to "cope" with (sometimes, words are sooo inadequate. And you have every right to feel grief, anger, - your not abnormal there, your a person. You have your son, you have good memories to carry forward, to be able to give to him when hes older. And thats a good thing.
This is all terribly complicated isnt it - all this stuff we are suddenly hit with, never done it before,dont know what to do. Its not just a page in a book. Its happening. Just muddle along, do the best that you can, - its a horrible journey, a very individual one, I do honestly wish you well.
Hugs,
Andrew the oldhippy.
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July 2011
Loulou - happy for you, hope it goes well. Your life, too, deserves respect and consideration.
Andrew the oldhippy.
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July 2011
Wow, your really copping it! - all the normal teenage angst and drama and total lack of social awareness, plus the cancer!
Seriously - kids can be total pigs at that age, worse for girls. You dont need this, the daughter cant manage it so you will have to - make a breathing space - which is why the respite thing is good.
See if you can stick your Daughter into respite care somehow. And for your self, it would be a good idea as well. (Not the same place/time, obviously) Some palliative care places, you can check in/out (more than once) so if your feeling really rotten from ...whatever...see if you can retreat for a few days.
The alternative is to just shoot her - this is an option I considered seriously many times during our last teen raising episode.....
Andrew the oldhippy.
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June 2011
Hi All,
the dexamethasone is a steroid, designed to further knock out your immune system so the chemo can work better. In me, they stick a lot in with the chemo, as well as anti-nausea stuff, via ports on the IV line. Looks like a plastics factory after a while.
It does nothing as an anti nausea agent, thats the tablets in the bottle with the green lid. (mentally lost it here, cant remember its name - will look it up if anyone wants it.)
Most notable side effect of dexamethasone is it causes muscle wastage - you dont find out until, suddenly, a flight of stairs is impossible.. you can exercise to head it off, but I didn't know that at the time. Saw a physio, he sorted it out with stretching exercises. And, eventually, it stops.
So. There.Hope that helps.
Andrew the oldhippy.
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June 2011
well. RANT pretty well indicates its rhetoric - after that, your choice to respond or not.
Andrew the oldhippy.
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June 2011
There needs to be a forum place in here for the Lunatic Fringe, I would be happy to be a foundation member......
Gallows Humour - I hear/read recently its peculiarly English, and if you dont have much English language then you wont get it. You need to read more than the tv guide.
I use it a lot, suits me. Fatalism is another word for it I guess. Its all part of the mechanism of coping. Or not.
Chemo Brain - the Good Side (see above re humour) - spoken to a few people about this, there's good bits of chemo brain. Like, my ability to understand mathematics on a more intuitive level has increased markedly - lots of Light Bulb moments. Reading plans, and understanding them. Hear about the same from others, the sommellier(SP) who started blowing his colleagues into the weeds in blind testing... skills seem to be enhanced on some areas. It seems curiously undocumented.
By the way - have started being told Chemo jokes? - anyone else has?
Worth thinking about - or the sort of RANT you would hear from someone who had had Chemo that morning. You decide.
Andrew the oldhippy
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June 2011
Came back to read this one again Silly - thank you for posting. I guess point 5, the "I am normal, others feel this too" is kinda nice - its a way of centering ourselves sometimes - at least it is for me.
Andrew
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June 2011
Hi Silly,
is it possible to be booked in as a day patient for the scans etc. If the machine is part of the hospital group, should be do- able.
Andrew
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June 2011
Sailor,
thank you for that - its a pretty clear model/explanation of whats happening here, too. I dont track stuff, but reckon its been OK so far re costs. And I have always been a Neanderthal when it comes to money things anyway. Blind optimism (Cosmic Forces)works, most of the time.
And I too am grateful we dont have the American model of health insurance - probably wouldn't still be here if we did!
Andrew the oldhippy.
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June 2011
Sailor,
thank you for that - its a pretty clear model/explanation of whats happening here. I dont track stuff, but reckon its been OK so far re costs. And I have always been a Neanderthal when it comes to money things anyway. Blind optimism (Cosmic Forces)works, most of the time.
And I too am grateful we dont have the American model of health insurance - probably wouldn't still be here if we did!
Andrew the oldhippy.
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