If I was feeling lousy (which the chronic pain does 24/7 to varying degrees) and someone says I am looking good, I reply "Well, I am so glad of that! I wouldn't want to look how I feel!" (Referring to physical feelings, that is). I don't stay positive for other people's sake; I stay positive for my sake. If my path did not change in June last year, I would not be here now so despite the physical difficulties, I am feeling emotionally and mentally wonderful, though I do have down times occasionally. I don't feel that I have fought cancer. I simply make informed decisions, pray, do what I need to and leave it in God's hands. Then despite a bumpy path, I have a sense of peace 🙂 ... View more

Hi Silly I knew beforehand that I would have a severe disfigurement. I had an ulcer (SCC) just inside the left corner of my mouth. I chose surgery over other options knowing they would take a full depth piece including the corner of my mouth about the size of a ten cent piece. A folded graft from my wrist fills the space and lines my cheek. An arm tendon was split and attached between my cheekbone and the new corner to give me pull for a smile. I tend to smile a lot as I look better that way 😉 A graft from my leg covers my wrist. When I asked my surgeon if I would 'frighten kids in the street' he said "Probably!" But I wanted to stay alive and this was my best option, so no regrets. The corner is permanently open with a tooth showing. I can't drink from a cup as I dribble. A straw to the back of my throat and a tightly clamped mouth works fine. Try swallowing liquid with your mouth open ;-) I also tend to cover my mouth with a tissue/serviette when eating unless alone. I am 14 months since surgery but have long accepted that this is the new me. I am not even interested in knowing anyone who cannot accept this. I have enough negatives in my life without allowing any more. That said, I am happy, positive, loving and loved - more than many have :-) ... View more

I think we should all follow our gut instinct with this and say what we really feel we want to say. If others can't accept that, it is their problem to deal with, not ours. If we were celebrities who got cancer, our story would be all over the media as though we were someone more special than the rest. Statistics state that 50% of the population will get cancer by the time they are 85. It is becoming a more common occurrence so our speaking out now should help future sufferers avoid the awkwardness we are coping with. My priorities have changed for the better, I believe. My future relationships are important to me and they do not include tip-toeing around other people's unacceptance of my condition. ... View more

Hi Rubes and everyone who has commented: I do understand where you are coming from. But my problem is somewhat different as my op left me with a facial disfigurement - which tends to be 'the elephant in the room' which grows bigger by the moment until explained. My profile pic cleverly disguises it ;-) I really have not had anyone give an adverse reaction once told. All have seemed quite interested as I explain factually how it came about and what was done. Only one person asked outright at first sight. We were new neighbours who met over rubbish bins. I found it so natural from her I would be happy for others to do the same. She simply said 'Wow! You've been in the wars! What happened?' This was when I was very swollen from infection and red from radiotherapy. When I got to know her more I mentioned how thankful I was for her reaction. She was slightly horrified and said 'Oh no! I can't believe I said that.' But I reassured her just how good it was. Harker and Sarah: I totally agree with the open/closed door theory regarding both people and opportunities. Some people have drifted into my past; others have stayed with me and yet new ones have come on board. I am very blessed. Warm hugs to all, Pamela :-) ... View more

Hi Allicat Usually the mind can only cope with a certain amount of pain at one time. One feeling can over-ride others. My friend has terrible chronic back pain, suffering for over 25 years. I simply rub/massage his feet. He tells me his mind focuses on the relaxing feeling in his feet and for a while does not have any pain focus. It may have some sort of acupressure effect. He can often sleep comfortably afterwards. Any relief is good. Do you have someone who would try this for you? It may help, even if only temporarily, which is better than not at all. And to Silly: Feelings are hard to manage, but none of us are failures. It is awful that it stayed around so long for you. I tend to be practical and question myself as to whether feelings are true or false. I also don't believe that feelings stay, reflecting on the biblical verses (over 600 of them) which commence - 'And it came to pass...' - taking that to mean it has not come to stay. Warm hugs to you both, Pamela 😉 ... View more

Thank you, Glenys for your kind words but I don't take credit for the words I use. I am often surprised at what I write when I re-read it. I have faith and trust in God/Jesus and believe he gives me words of comfort to give to others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. I think that summarises it for this whole site, even though some may not feel the same way. Warm hugs, Pamela 🙂 ... View more

Hi Allicat Are you eating ok? I have found that headaches can be from low blood sugar. Also I take honey to ease pain (it just takes the edge off and makes it more bearable) and also to help me sleep. Taken like medicine - a teaspoon washed down with water. It may not work for everyone, but it does for me. I have been told it is all in my mind but as long as it helps I am happy to continue. I have had good results with it for all sorts of problems over the last 40 years. Sending heaps more (((hugs))), Pamela 🙂 ... View more

Hi Allicat I am a hugger of wide renown from way back! It's wondrous what a hug can do, A hug can cheer you when you're blue. A hug can say, "I love you so.", Or, "Gee! I hate to see you go." A hug is, "Welcome back again." This Hug Is Meant For You A hug can soothe a small child's pain, And bring a rainbow after rain. The hug! There's just no doubt about it, We scarcely could survive without it. A hug delights and warms and charms, It must be why God gave us arms. Hugs are great for fathers and mothers, Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers, And chances are some uncles and aunts Love them more than potted plants. Kittens crave them. Puppies love them. Heads of state are not above them. A hug can break the language barrier, And make the dullest day seem merrier. No need to fret about the store of them, The more you give, the more there are of them. So stretch those arms without delay And give someone a hug today. So I am sending the biggest, warmest (((HUGS))) to you, from Pamela 🙂 ... View more

Hi Peanutz Palliate simply means: Relieving or soothing the symptoms of a disease or disorder without effecting a cure. There is no sense of failure in that, but something necessary for quality of life no matter what the problem or prognosis. When we sit waiting ages for an appointment, I do hope it is for a worthwhile reason. It may be a case of too few doctors; too many patients, some of whom take longer than others to see. I know at times I have been allocated 15 minutes and take longer, so the next person is waiting because of me. That sort of thing also has a cumulative effect. It does make it hard, though. Peace, strength and comfort to you, Pamela ... View more

Hi Lorraine Heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Prayers of strength and warm hugs of comfort, Pamela. ... View more