It was the hardest thing I've ever done. To watch him slowly forget me and everyone around him.
You are strong. You will make it through.
If you ever need to talk. I am all ears xx
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The man I fell in love with Walked in to my life, not got the first time. I had known Dale Since I was 12 and he was 17. I had crushed on him since then.
After 7 years or so we were reunited. We instantly hit it off and began to Date.
I knew Dale Had Brain Cancer when we started Dating, I also Knew he had a son, And Was separated.
After 6 months, November 2011 Dale Had a 6 Monthly check-up MRI in Perth. We Were told around christmas time that year that Dale would have to start Chemo Therapy again. Dale Had already been through many rounds of Chemo and Radiation. Aswel as Surgery to remove part of a tumour. He had 2, they knew of.
Dec 28th He had his first Chemo in many many months. He was never negative, Also in a good mood. Chatty.
In March 2012, he ended up in Hospital after feeling unwell and losing his ability to form coherent sentences. He was admitted for several days. After a couple Days he did improve. But this was the first time I had been told and second time for Dale. That he May not make it to the end of the month.I had never cried so much in my life.
After this we moved in with my Grandma, for support. In June-ish 2012 he started to deteriorate rapidly, He broke his ankle. Which didn't help. He started to forget who he was, where he lived, I could not take my eyes off him for long or he would disappear.
After a few months, on September 3rd, The Day my Grandma, who Dale loved and her Friend and Neighbour returned from 2 months in the UK Dale Had a snooze in the afternoon and when he woke up, he was someone else, he locked us out of the house, when we got in, he held a a knife between us, he was petrified of everyone. He did not know who I was, who my Grandma was, he jumped a fence, with a Broken ankle. which was impressive, since he sense of balance had been affected during surgery nearly 3 years before.
He was Admitted to Hospital permanently after that The Doctors and Nurses, took that decisions away from me, knowing I didn't want to let him go. for Nearly 2 months, he started to decline very fast. He forgot almost everyone that he knew. he would focus in things that were not there, He would not sleep, In the end I fed him almost all his meals. I spent 98% of the 2 months with him by his bed, Only being away when his Family was with him. I never spent the night, for I would not have slept, every time I he moved or stirred I would have been up and making sure he was okay. He Had fallen so many times, when he was left alone for a moment. He was very talented at being sneaky.
November 14th early morning, I got a Call from the Local Hospital that Dale would probably not last much longer, Grandma and I rushed in and I was fortunate enough to be there with him when he breathed his last breathe. it was at that moment, that I finally let out the tears i had been holding for months.
Since then I have cried many times. I feel so lost without him. I have no one to depend on me. No one to look after.
I enrolled in an online Aged Care Cert 3 course, after moving From WA to VIC. for a Fresh Start.
But I know I am not ready to care for someone else, instead I want to help support the families of those affected and those themselves that are affected.
Nurses, friends and family and Strangers have told me I would be very good at it. I started a Support Group on Facebook, while Dale Was still alove, as my way of reaching out for help without asking for it. I met some wonderful people on there, many I have never met face to face. But those that I have, have become good friends.
I know how it feels to want to blame someone, yell at someone, scream and cry and not want to have to explain why.
I know that grief is not a short lived event. It takes time and for some years, for others months. We all grieve differently. And I want to help those suffering directly and indirectly. TO feel better about themselves and about their lives. Even if it means just sitting down and listening to someone talk.
Dale and I may have only had 15 months together, But they were the happiest 15 months of my life and I do not regret sticking by him. I love him today and I will love him Tomorrow.
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.