Hi Roni - So sorry to read about you dear Dad. I have been a full time carer for my mum-in-law who came to live with my husband and I after being diagnosed with terminal cancer - secondaries from previous bowel cancer. Yes, it is very hard and gut-wrenching to watch someone you love going through this. Mum-in-law, Joyce, did not have any chemo - she was too frail from previous operations etc and already had long term lung complications. Having lost her beloved husband Jack, after 55 yrs was also taking its toll on her. She was very down, to start with. Had to end up on very heavy pain killing meds which affected her mentally as well. I don't really know what to say, except that yes, it is hard, and yes, you know "that day" is coming, but just do the best you can to be supportive and there are great people who give counselling through the Cancer Council - they will come to you, so please, do not be afraid to ask for help. Your feelings are very very normal - we do not like to see the ones we love suffer so much - it is in the nature of all women (especially daughters) to want to nurture and help as much as we can. But at the same time, we feel so helpless ...... Just let him know every day how much you love him, how much you value him as your dear dad and I know it;s hard, but try not to let him see your fear - I did A LOT of crying, in secret, as did my husband. Joyce went into palliative care the last 2 weeks of her life. They were wonderful. I do think that being with us rather than in a nursing home made her last months so much more comforting for her. It was hard work, but looking back I would not have had it any other way. Her actual passing was very peaceful. She just went into a deep sleep, and that was that. We were there right to the very end. Please, contact me anytime if you want to chat - I am more than happy to help, give solace, or just some kind words, anytime you need them. Yours in love, Yamba_Barbie xx ... View more