Hey everyone!   This is my first post on the forum! Which is great. Now i've had Leukaemia for the first time AND posted on the forum for the first time, heaps of firsts. Kicking goals.   I'm not really sure how this works so I'll just lay out the facts. My name is Alex and I'm an alcoholic....no, wrong forum. My name is Alex and I'm a survivor of AML - Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. I was diagnosed in December 2008, one week before Christmas (Thanks Santa) and spent 7 months in Nepean Hospital in Western Sydney. 244 days to be exact. It was, unquestionably, the most difficult time of my life. I suppose that's to be expected. What I didn't expect was that once I was sent home, my life would be just as hard.   I'm 28 now and the time spent with chemo coursing through my veins recedes into the distance, but it still affects me emotionally and mentally as much as ever.   Truth be told I often felt, and continue to feel, that I was designated to die back then. But some holy power, be it God or the universe, marked my file incorrectly and I've been left wandering earth ever since. I have felt such deep emptiness at my survival, such guilt and shame that other lives have been lost when all I did was lie in bed and hope for the best. I am so grateful for life and I want to make the most of it, but too often I feel empty and sad, like a ghost. For lack of a better expression - I'm dying to live.   I guess I'll leave it here for now and leave the floor open to feedback if anyone feels like chatting.   How have you sought meaning after your cancer fight was over? Have you felt empty and how did you combat those feelings? Any words of wisdom for this bloke on how to go forward in life?   Thanks for your time and keep up the fight all of you, we all kick ass 🙂   Yours in time, Alex ... View more