Thank you so much.  I am 18 months post treatment and still cannot swallow food. I keep trying everyday. I am a bit stubborn in that.  So i still tube feed three times a day. I am waiting on surgery for osteoradionecrosis and i haven't been able to find anyone who has dealt with this. All the time  waiting its spreading further along my jaw.  I have pain meds but they only dull the pain. I dont know if its because of the cancer, the deaths i have dealt with, the virus restrictions , the side effects but now i cant even leave the house without having a panic attack.  It just seems all too much. I spend a lot of time reading from my kindle and chatting to my dog.   I WANT my old life back so much but i cant even stay awake a full day let alone work.   I should be happy i know. I beat the tumour. I am blessed but the emptiness and loneliness has taken over.    ... View more

I had a tumour in my neck and base of tongue that o had no symptoms of only a toothache.  It all happened so fast. 7 weeks of radiation and chemo.  I will alone. I have no family near. I lost my sister and brother 7 weeks apart last year.  Its just me and my puppy.    I cannot swallow. And i have a peg tube in. I get so exhausted all the time.   I try cooking soft vegies to eat and then too tired to eat it.  The struggle to swallow it just wears me out.  I want to feel happy bit cant pull up. I am so angry at myself. L used to work full time  and wham everything is gone ... View more