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But of course - they are not mine they are Julian's. Sailor

Sailor

Hi there There are many such statements about the perversity of the universe "If anything can go wrong, it will" was the original Murphy's law. Some say that Murphy was an optimist. However there are many corollaries to Murphy's law: Here are a few: "If anything can go wrong, it will, at the worst time" "It is impossible to make something foolproof as fools are so ingenious" "Nothing is as easy as it looks" "If anything can go wrong it will and matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value" "The probability of the toast falling butter side down is in direct proportion to the value of the carpet." "Chaos always wins because it is better organised" any others? Cheers Sailor A sailor is an artist whose medium is the wind. Webb Chiles  

Sailor

All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. They are fairly powerful words of hope that come across about 650 years since they were first written. They were written by the first woman to publish a book in the English language - Julian of Norwich. Norwich is a favourite city of mine. Located at the junction of the Yare and Wensum rivers it was once a busy port and even today coastal shipping still makes its way up to unload at Carrow wharves. In medieval times it was the centre of one of the richest parts of England, wealth based on wool. Powerful families lived and prospered in Norfolk, two of them being the Howards and Boleyns, who both contributed wives to Henry VIII. An imposing city surrounded on three sides by a wall and the fourth side by the rivers. Dominated by the Castle and the Cathedral, both dating back to the first thirty years after to Norman Conquest. Next to the cathedral is the Adam and Eve pub, which predates the cathedral. Within the city walls prior to Henry VIII and the reformation there were fifty-two churches, forty-one of which still remain, and over three hundred and fifty pubs. It was said of Norwich that you could attend a different church every Sunday and a different pub every day of the year. Down on the river flats was the little thatched church of St Julian - it is still there and it is still thatched. Next to it was a small cell, the home of an anchoress - a female hermit, who took her name from that of the church. We now call her Julian of Norwich. Mother Julian was not the simple person she claims. She was well educated, could read Latin, Greek and Hebrew, and corresponded with scholars across Europe. She clearly came from a wealthy family, as she was able to maintain two maidservants. In her early thirties she became ill and nearly died. Whilst near death she had a number of visions - we would probably call them hallucinations - which she took as divine revelations. When she recovered she recorded these, and then many years later wrote a further book in which she reflected on their meaning. Modern scholars describe her as a mystic, but there were quite a few around at that time - Hildergard of Bingen, Marjorie of Lyn, amongst others. Running through her writings is the constant refrain - all shall be well - a message of hope. Last time in Norwich we sought out the thatched church of St Julian and her reconstructed cell. Very simple, very powerful. Her message that all shall be well has been picked up by many other writers, including TS Eliot. It is up there on the pinboard that contains all the family photo's from when the kids were tiny to now they are approaching middle age themselves. All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. Sailor 3/9/2010

Sailor

Hi Paul Ask the Peter Mac - they will tell you. However, there are a few things that you need to consider. You have already had colo-rectal cancer, so I assume, like borderline, that the tumours in the liver are secondaries, rather than primary cancer. As the treatment is only available at the Peter Mac, it suggests that it is fairly experimental, so it is most likely being done under clinical trial conditions. Most clinical trials have fairly tight criteria for entry into treatment. Unless they do this and establish good evidence that the treatment works, then no one is helped. It is not ethical to use experimental treatment on people who do not fit the criteria. Regards Sailor An incorrectly identified mark is a hazard, not an aid, to navigation. Alton B. Moody

Sailor

Hi Mrs Elton My friends who work in this area tell me that this sort of thing is a fairly normal part of the grieving process. They also tell me lots of statistics about the first year following the death of a loved one. I can't remember them and wouldn't put them here anyway. It is like surviving cancer - people just expect you to get on with your life and go back to what was the old normal - it isn't possible. Don't be afraid to get some counselling for yourself, perhaps some grief counselling - if you see your GP you can get it on medicare. I's a tough time at the moment for you and your children. Take care Sailor But the sea is a mighty soul, forever moaning of some great, unshareable sorrow, which shuts it up into itself for all eternity. Lucy Laud Montgomery, Anne’s House of Dreams

Sailor

Hi Chris Vinouche has said it - through your hospital get in touch with your local palliative care service. They will take care of things for you. Talk to the Social Workers - there is an incredible amount of help out there for people in your situation and the people they care for - you just have to ask. Get in touch with Carers Australia www.carersaustralia.com.au - they will have details of the services that are available. Cheers Sailor You cannot change the direction of the wind. You can, however, trim your sails. Anon

Sailor

Friday lunch time we sat with friends in a rather unusual cafe in an inner Melbourne suburb. We had a good meal, drank red wine talked about life and had a great time. We worried about the election the next day. My friend brought out one of his collection of antique, immaculate Dinky toys. Everything worked, it was a replica of real life, except that there was a broken handle. We discussed ways of mending die-cast. Mine host joined in the conversation from time-to-time. We talked about old friends, some of whom are no longer with us. We talked about the move of his model railway layout and that how another person had taken an interest in it and was gong to convert it to digital control for him. The conversation ranged widely and eruditely. After about four hours, we wound things down, went back to their apartment then on our way. For me that meant across town and into hospital for the next few hours and gentamycin is still a pain in the bum. Our friends, well it was back to the confines of their small apartment that they have moved to from a gracious Victorian house. For he is confined to a wheelchair with a progressively debilitating disease and she is legally blind. We often talk about life and things in general. We know that we will not be a burden on our children and they will not have to worry about looking after us in our dotage. That is a comfort. Yes progressive disease changes your perspective on things. I am not sure that I am more hedonistic than I was. I'm more prepared to do things that we find pleasant and not worry about the $'s. Yes I do find that much of what has been out there in recent days, the pandering to peoples fears, the cultivation of xenophobia and the short term thinking I see for what it is - shallow and without merit. But cancer has not changed my desire for a better and more just society. Cheers Sailor We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown. T S Eliot. The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock

Sailor

Hi Masupe It sounds like you live in NSW. That advocacy training course applies to NSW only. However there are advocacy training courses run in just about all states, and like the NSW one they are a joint program between Cancer Voices in each state and the Cancer Council. So if you don't live in NSW contact the state based Cancer Voices organisation in your state. They all have websites and contact pages. It was Cancer Voices Victoria that made the suggestion to the Cancer Council Victroia about holding the recent "Money Matters" forum that was held on this site and covered a lot of these issues. Cheers Sailor . . . there is nothing more enticing, disenchanting, and enslaving than the life at sea. Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim .

Sailor

Hi Flight Hodgkins Lymphoma, ten years free of disease! The matter shouldn't even be raised. Have a talk to the Cancer Council about the statistics and then armed with that go and talk to a financial planner. Good luck Sailor At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much. Robin Lee Graham 

Sailor

Hi Purpleangels That sounds about par for the course with Centrelink. If you are old grey and ancient like me the trick is to avoid the Centrelink office and go and see the Centrelink person in the Medicare office - they are much more helpful, creative and user friendly. However, that doesn't help you. Go back to the Centrelink office and request (maybe demand might be a better term, but that suggests you get angry - whatever you do do not do that!) to see the social worker. When you go along, see if you can get a friend to go with you, if male in a suit and tie, if female, power-dressed. If they are slightly older that helps as well. Just have them stand there beside you and take notes. Note down every thing that anyone at any level says as you work your way through to the Social Worker. Be prepared to spend the day there. Also before you do it read the Commonwealth Ombudsman's report on the difficulties faced by people with terminal illness dealing with Centrelink - it is at http://www.ombudsman.gov.au/media-releases/show/89 - be prepared to quote it at them, or better still have your friend do so. It might sound a bit extreme, but from personal experience in helping someone get a carers payment for looking after their autistic child, it works. Also remember, they are in a tough position themselves, all the people they are dealing with are inculcated with the mantra of deny payments, not help people to get one. That's what they are paid to do and they are overworked and overwhelmed with outdated systems. I lodged some papers today and the person I gave them to couldn't enter the data directly onto the computer. No the papers had to be sent to a central office to be scanned in, then they get sent back to the person I was dealing with, who can then enter the details in the computer! Good luck Sailor As we sail thru life, don't avoid rough waters, sail on because calm waters won't make a skillful sailor. Anonymous

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