Hi Kkdresmith   It makes sense you’re worried for your sister, your family history can’t be ignored. Will you be attending the appointment with your sister? Maybe she’s fearful, either way she will need your support and the company only a sister can offer rather than you sending her into the lions den alone....  Maybe suggesting a sister occasion for you both? lunch or dinner somewhere where she won’t be distracted and can clearly hear you without any interruptions,  you both could explore her getting a second test to make sure everything’s okay?  You can draw on the fact you’ll be there by her.  Your family’s health history that she’s not a doctor or dietician to know why she is bleeding  and that you would really need her to go with you.  bleeding that frequently must have a major impact on her personal life and intimate affairs. She is denying herself a quality life.   Only you can impress on her the importance that she goes with you to check everything’s okay.   Choose a suitable meeting place, call her make a date and run with it.  Ask her to go have another test. Give it another go. Not trying again may lead to regret. If she’s going to need you you’ll need to commit to her. Remember sister are forever xxx  P&S          ... View more

Hi Nettab75   Sorry to hear you’re experiencing trials at a time when you really need your husband to be strong enough to be open about all he is feeling and worried about and he really loves and needs you.  We all receive information that can be challenging to accept and adapt to let alone process it, it takes time and requires strength patience and understanding. I have read a lot of the threads and anger and frustration is very common especially among male cancer warriors (I prefer to use the word ‘warrior’ than sufferer’) When Shane & I discovered he has leukaemia we didn’t know what to think, we were silent for a moment processing the news. We just looked at one another, thinking, thinking about us as a couple, our future plans we made, our business, each other. We just held hands eyes tearing up then we looked at one another. We didn’t know what to say to each other but our eyes were locked so we just smiled comfortingly and hugged. I whispered in his ear - I love you you’re never alone, I’m always here right beside you and we will get through this one day at a time. Stay strong. You can fight this. I made Shane promise me he would tell me what he needs how he is feeling so I can help him. I explained to Shane the power I hold to help him is only ever limited by his open honest communication with me. And I promised him I will be right by his side through it all and whatever he needs I will make it happen.  Helping assure your loved one that you hold the reigns of strength during a time that is going to knock them for a row of $&@! cans is so important during a time where you need to bring your strength to the surface and make it shine so they can draw from it.   Husbands are notorious for wearing the pants and being the man of the house. They’re hopeless without their wives. But they’re the prime protector of their castle and everyone in it. It’s a mans role and husbands responsibility.  Trying to process news that compromises their capacity to protect everyone and provide for their family is so damn difficult for the majority of most men to accept. Their productivity and self value is constantly under question in their minds and that’s a lot on top of their fear of being a burden.  Talk with him, as much as he is angry and you are fearful of upsetting him further for his own good (and yours) Talk To Him. Take the opportunity to Reassure him. You need to break him open and get him to talk about what’s going on inside his head so you can help him. Communication is key to unlocking the mental minefield he feels is his responsibility to navigate through on his own.  Remain calm and be strong. This is your time to take the reigns and burdens of worry off him by helping him formulate a plan going forward. His anger could be associated with hospital costs on top... by talking it out calmly together you’ll both find a plan to manoeuvre through this as a couple instead of being divided by anger and through fear.  It may help to share this thread with him as your way of opening up the opportunity for you both to talk, I’m certain you’ll find a way to shine and make him proud. Keep your head up and shoulders back. It’s your time. You can do this... the both of you xxx    read our introduction thread, it was our plan to help us navigate an uncertain road ahead. The only certainty we have is how we approach our journey together through it. This is all new for us we have fears and questions like anyone. We will learn as we go & if we have ‘we’ll wing it!’ Whatever the case, we will do it together. You both can too.  our best wishes you both find a way through this together xxx  P&S  ... View more

Bless you Peter  thank you for your warm welcome  P&S ... View more

Hi ayoo101   Sorry to hear your body is in a right mix causing you worry and distress. Try and calm yourself, just focus on relaxing and taking some deep breaths.  Given that your dr check ups since feb 2020 showed nothing, ct scan may 2020 same result,  it’s likely there is nothing to concern yourself with. But it’s been 12mths now maybe another check up or 2nd opinion might reveal something clearer this time round?   what is clear is your worry and anxiety... allowing them to run wild unchecked by your own self control and self assurance is certain to manifest disaster if you continue. It’s like the story of ‘the boy who cried wolf’. If you have concerns have your health concerns checked annually for peace of mind and diligence and if you need a second opinion then get one.  Be careful not to become fixated on mistrusting every doctor because they didn’t give you the news you may expect. And I’m not saying you are any less deserving for medical attention than anyone else but there are reasonable limits of how far you can go before you start consuming professional resources that could be spent on someone more deserving that needs it.   Every time you find an element of pain for something find a reason for yourself that would quantify you continuing and coping. Your predicting and convincing yourself you have the ‘big C’ without any diagnosis is not a positive approach.  have you sought help and learned breathing techniques, meditation, yoga and other strategies to lessen your anxiety? It could only have great benefit for you in long run wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps that’s a healthy place to start?  We wish you the best health possible and hope you find answers and relief xx        ... View more