About kymg

kymg

Hi, I don’t want to go flat out. I know that things won’t get better if I do that. I am doing everything I can to get my immediate problem sorted without even thinking about the underlying cause. Hell I have even stopped drinking and now only have drink at weekends (and only one) – all to give this body of mine a chance to recover. No, the pressure I receive is from SWMBO and regardless of how I feel, I feel like I should saddle up and try to do more. When I come home from work at 5:00pm after getting to work at 6:30am I am told to go and do something. I live in a Regional centre so its only 10 mins to work and I am not travelling two hours each way. But what I can’t abide is the “you’re dragging the family down” line. OK I understand that when people are feeling annoyed / frustrated things are said, that, in the cold hard light of day shouldn’t have been but to continually blame me for this is a bit extreme. It seems that she is trying to find someone / something to blame. All I can really say is S*#@ happens and you have to deal with it when it does happens. It is really important for those people nearest and dearest (and even those who aren’t) to someone with Cancer to understand that none of it is their doing, they don’t want to feel like crap and they want to be good again so that they can eat properly, drink to excess if they want too, play sport, shag – everything. Poor buggers like us do not need to be made feel guilty. Enough of the whinge – its onward and upward from here. As far as wearing caftans goes - well it is tempting - I could really let the breeze do some good. Have a good one (whatever that might be - a couple of things spring to mind) Kym

kymg

Well blimey, I didn’t think for a minute that this would get quite the response that it has. Having said that, I’m kinda glad that it has! I am still coming to grips with all of this. M current situation is ’with catheter’ – a really dandy suprapubic job that sits exactly (and I mean exactly) where the waist band of my pants is. So every time I move or sit down it hurts. I wore shorts with an elastic waist to work last week which is not really the right thing to do in a office but it did help. This week I am back in pants with a belt (and a sore stomach). So enough of me grizzling– as I say things could be worse. Having this thing stuck in me has made the seemingly inevitable radiotherapy go off the radar. The thing that I find frustrating, and maybe some of you gals can help me here, is the really polar moods that my wife has. One day she will be all concerned then the next she will be blaming me for dragging the family down. I fully expect that there will be mood swings amongst all of us but to blame me for something over which I have no control really seems beyond the pale. When we are out she says that “Kym must take it easy with things” and when we are home its “go and do some jobs”. So last Sunday I cleaned the pool, mowed the lawn and washed two cars. The next day I was buggered and could feel myself blocking up again slightly. All because if I look alright I must be alright. Apparently I have really bad mood swings and I do get pretty cranky when things change around the house for no good reason. But I think I am handling it all pretty well. Maybe I am not.

kymg

Hi all First of all I must apologise for a comment I made in the first post in this topic. I was rather scathing in my comments about my wife. I think I must have been in a rather bad mood and said what I don’t really mean. My wife is doing a really great job at making appointments, arranging things with Centrelink and generally doing a mob of things that I can’t do cos I am at work. So I apologise to her and to you all for making it sound that way it did. Oh and thanks Mrs Elton for thinking that I need a medal for having six children. Most people say that my wife deserves a medal (which she does) but no-one thinks that I am deserving of one. Its nice to hear. OK on with the show. Something of note that I have found is that the more positive and upbeat you are then greater the chance of maintaining friendships. If you don’t sound down then people will want to talk to you. No-one likes a whinger. And so I shall sally forth into the wild blue yonder jumping every hurdle until I get to the end of the race (which in my case will be the success of the expected radiotherapy). Then I will lose a bit of weight, try to regain some fitness, fix some things around the house, try to be good Dad and Husband - and live long enough to be nuisance to the children.

kymg

Well Mrs Elton I must say that you have actually made me think about things from a quite a different perspective. I think that you are giving me the helpful tips. I too look good from a physical point of view. None of my contemporaries at work knew I was crook until the week I was going into hospital for surgery. Since going back to work I have had a catheter in which has made movement awkward. And I am not in pain. Just frustrated that I cannot do some of the things I normally do with ease. So to all intents and purposes, there is nothing wrong with me. And so I say things like “I’m warm and mobile” or “I’m upright and ambulant” or “A day above the earth is better than a day under it” I am trying to be upbeat which makes me seem OK. Given that most of my problems at the moment are post surgical not ‘cancerous’ than I feel no different to someone who broke an arm or had their appendix out. Now having said that, Mrs Elton I think that maybe you are right in what you say. My wife is trying to tell people that despite what Kym says or how he looks, there is an underlying problem that has not been resolved. Hmmmmm now you have me thinking. I feel like a bit of a s#*@ now. Don’t take that to heart. I have had a few ‘melting moments’ particularly when I was in hospital but I have not had one for ages. I do have a wife and six children to be ‘tough’ for – don’t I? Yes I know that you will say that I am allowed to be a bit sad but I don’t want to. I don’t want to let this beat me and the more that I hear that is negative the more chance there is of that happening. The other problem is that if I do have a need to ‘melt down’ or vent my spleen I am not entirely sure who should be at the end of it. Or should I not allow this to worry me, get on with things and take each stage as it comes. I am buggered if I know. Is too much information / talk a bad thing or not necessarily a good thing. Cheers

kymg

I have something that I need some help with. Since my last update (I had an RP after being diagnosed with Prostate Cancer), I have had two more trips to hospital for post surgical complications. I have had issues with blockages ie “I canna do a wee” and when that happens it hurts like hell. I have had two proper blockages and one almost ( I knew it was coming) blockage. After my second blockage I had a cystoscopy which proved that the plumbing was in good order. Three hours after the catheter coming out I was blocked again and by God did it hurt. Answer to that was to stick another catheter in. So back into hospital last Friday to have a suprapubic catheter stuck in (it goes into your bladder through your stomach). Makes it hard to look good in the old budgie smugglers. So although all of this is due to the fact that I was diagnosed with cancer I haven’t even got to the point where I can have a PSA test that doesn’t give artificially raised readings (apparently the blockages can cause the PSA to be high) and it will be another three to four weeks before I can find out if things might not be right. My doctor thinks that they might still be too high even after the plumbing is sorted out. Despite this I think I am still pretty fortunate – I am sure things could be a whole lot worse. Now I have an issue that I am sure that some of you may be able to help me with. I have remained pretty positive throughout all of this despite having a catheter of one sort or another for 7 ½ of past 9 weeks. I have been going to work for the past five weeks. The issue that I have is to do with my supposed reaction when people ask me how things are going. When people ask what happened and how I am I tell them – yes I have been diagnosed with cancer, yes I have had a Radical Prostatectomy and ongoing issues with urine retention and yes there is a high likelihood of Radiotherapy. And I am not sure what the future holds. But I say “it could be worse”. Well it would seem that saying such things (ie ”it could be worse”) is the wrong thing to do. I should be running the ‘woe is me’ line. It seems that my wife has to “set them straight” when people say that Kym seems OK. Apparently I am not telling the truth. Things are a lot worse than I make them out to be. And (here’s the rub) I should be telling everyone what a wonderful job my wife is doing at keeping things going. Well it’s just that I would prefer to remain upbeat rather than sit and whinge about things. So what is a man supposed to do? Sheesh.

kymg

There is no way that cancer is 'sexy' - but the marketing people involved with Breast Cancer fundraising make a 'sexy' thing to be involved with. Look at all the celebs that want to be associated with it. I mentioned this to someone this morning and their first reaction was that the marketing of Breast Cancer is 'sexy' I hear exactly what you are saying and there would not be a Cancer on this planet that could be construed as 'sexy'. Better do some work now. Kym

kymg

I agree Sailor – power to the activists who put boobs in our collective faces and raised a mob of money. Not withstanding that, each time I see a promo for fighting breast cancer I say “what about all the other sorts” . Don’t get me wrong, I fully support research into breast cancer and have supported the cause in the past and I am sure will continue to do so but I will also support prostate cancer, bowel cancer and anal cancer (the thought having either horrifies me) and the all the others that afflict people. For those that have breast cancer my heart goes out. Try as I might I can’t think of an attractive way of promoting other cancers in quite the media / public friendly way that the breast cancer people have done. Their latest ad suggesting that women self examine in the car wash or while waiting fro the kettle to boil is genius. Can I self examine my Prostate – I think not. Such a pity really cos it might save a few of us blokes. Oh and I waiting my results from my blood tests last Friday – worry, worry. And I have daughter starting her Year 12 exams tomorrow (Wednesday). But I am upright and ambulant and that can’t be bad. Cheers and Beers Kym

kymg

Hi Samex, Yoau are a gal after my own heart. The less ‘sexy’ cancer don’t seem to get the same coverage that the sexy cancers get although it would be fair to say that Prostate Cancer is starting to get more prominence. Certainly Bowel Cancer is a big ‘mucker upper’ of lives and needs to be promoted more. One of the affects of Prostate Cancer can be impotence. Maybe if that was highlighted as it might get on the front pages. Girlfriends and partners might start to take notice if an aspect the ‘intimate’ side of their relationship took a dive or disappeared. I think the immediate affect of a cancer on others needs to be sought out and used to impress upon people the seriousness of cancers aside from the obvious ones. I would be interested to hear others thoughts on this. Bring on Brown Ribbon Day

kymg

Hi All, Thanks to all of you for your support ... and jokes. Maybe we could make this a regular feature. I know what we are all going through is pretty serious and I would not want to do anything to trivialise our situations but a good giggle can sometimes help. Perhaps a joke page on the forum? I had my blood test today and for the first time ever I was scared of the needle going in. Normally I just look the other way when the needle goes in but today I had my eyes closed and tried to think of happy things - like not being impotent (ha ha). (I said to myself "Get a grip Kym but there is nothing to grip) That my friends is a really poor joke. Anyway now I have to wait til Tuesday to get the results. I shall have to ring the Doctor. It’s a bit like going into the water at the beach - all is a good until you get to 'that point' where you tend to jump up rather than getting 'it' wet. You know that you have to get wet but it’s just that last step. Well that’s how I feel about ringing up – not really wanting to in case its bad news. I am sure that many of you have gone through the same feelings and have got through it OK. I am not feeling as down as I did last Tuesday so that can only be good - knowing that there is a place to talk makes a huge difference. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to ‘strangers’ (not that any of you are strange I’m sure) than those closest to you. Cheers for now Kym

kymg

The Pope is returning from a trip overseas and his chauffer is waiting for him at the Airport. The Pope lands and is feeling enthusiastic about life and asks the chauffer if he can drive the car. The chauffer is pretty reluctant given that the Pope really shouldn’t be driving but after being badgered finally agrees. So he sits in the back seat while the Pope takes the wheel. The take off and pretty quickly the Pope is driving like a man possessed. Speeding at 160kmh, swerving in and out of traffic. This naturally attracts the attention of the local Constabulary who, with sirens blaring and lights flashing pull the Pope over. The Officer goes to the window and upon seeing who is driving takes, a step backwards and gets on the radio to his Boss. “Boss – you’ll never guess who I have just pulled over for dangerous driving” he says. “Who” asks his Boss “the Mayor, the President – just who is it?” “Well” says the Officer “it’s the Pope” “Hmm – so what’s the problem then” says his Boss “Well” says the Officer, “I think he has God in the back”

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