Where to begin... So much has changed in the 10 months since i lost my dad. but its still so heartbreaking to think about and its something i often think of.
Im back in the USA, have been here now since November 2012. initially i was only coming back for 3 months to get some relaxation and quality time with Nick after the dramas that came with executing a will and all that.
The biggest change came about in December 2012 just 4 months after loosing my Father i found out that Nick and i were expecting a baby (due september 2013). We also finally tied the knot after 2.5 yrs of an overseas/long distance relationship. It was a very small affair (just 2 other people and i got to wear my jeans !!!)
The first 3 months of being pregnant were extremely hard to deal with, not because of morning sickness or anything like that (i got very luck and basically skipped all morning sickness!) I found it hard to handle changing hormones while still grieving my father.
i wish my dad was around for whats to come in september... He was always the one i went to when i was scared or hurting or in trouble and with out him i dont know what to do! i know hes with me but its not the same. It pains me that my son (yes we found out its a little boy!!) wont know his grandparents (my parents -- either of them) and nicks parents live so far away that i dont know when he will see them either.
I am SUPER excited to hit Australian soil again in March 2014 for my big brothers wedding. Though a 15.5 hr flight (dallas-sydney) with a 6 month old isnt going to be fun LOL. And at least i wont have to do it alone... because nick is finally coming home with me 🙂 and im going to try convincing him that we should move there with in the year.
As for the baby, Besides making me crave beer (Hahn super dry!!!!!) i feel he already has some of my better qualities in him that i got from my dad.... The good taste in beer and the ability to throw a good punch/kick (hes a bit of a ninja ha ha ha)
Nick and i have decided to give him my father's name "Bruce" as a middle name in honor of my dad. though finding a first name to match bruce wasnt easy... so we are leaning toward Oliver as a first name. but its not set in stone.
I guess in so many ways im still missing my dad and i kknow its more then normal. But i dont really have anyone here in the USA who understands what im going through (especially being pregnant and hormonal). I really just needed to get some stuff out.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.