never came.
She died yesterday.
The whole time, whenever I thought about her disease, I either felt upset, angry or thought about silly questions like why. I knew all those thoughts and emotions were meaningless. Now, even though I still feel the sadness, I'm surprised, because it's the first time i thought "I love you". My senseless anger and disbelief were raging all along and i never really stopped to just appreciate her. How honoured i am how and lovely it was, to have her grace my life.
Thank you everyone that read my entries and gave me advice. I doubt I'll return to this site. It's just my selfishness, wasnting to complete this.
wish you all the best
