For the last 2 or 3 weeks, I have felt lower than any other time in my life. I have had depression before, but I found I could not stem the flow of tears, everything and anything set me off. I took advice from this forum and went to see GP . Got the happy pills, but as we know, they don't work straight away. However, I woke up yesterday feeling a lot more cheerful because of three things that happened.
1) My son who is in denial, came home and did a thourough clean up of his room, admitted to me he doesn't know what he is doing or where he is at. It turns out my whole family had been talking to him trying to make him understand what is happening. Yes he is an adult , but still a bit of a child emotionally.I think it is a great step for him to admit he is lost. I hope he will seek help soon
2)After taking the happy pills for 2 weeks I think they are finally kicking in. They are helping only a little because the dose is so low. GP worried they will affect my heart.
3)I got a message from my mother while I was in the shower yesterday. Some of you may be sceptical about these things, and that is fine with me. My mother passed away (cancer) 8 years ago. We were very close and I know she is with me on this journey, just like I was for her. When she was alive she always got me out of depression, we would talk and then she would say to me "reagis" ( that is french for react). She believed that by reacting agaisnt depression you can get on top of it. It does work........ to a certain extent. She shouted that word to me in the shower.
These three things got me in a better frame of mind , and my daughter and grandaughter arrived from New Zealand (permanently) to be with me. So I now have a goal in life once again. They will need a lot of help to settle in a new country,I have plenty of time to do that and I can enjoy my grandaughter. I also still have so much to teach my daughter. Just got to make sure I hang around long enough to do it.
The sadness is still here, tears do escape fairly regularly still, but right now today, I can live with that!
