I can't believe it has been 7 months since he left us....... In that time we have celebrated his 40th birthday, Easter, Mother's Day, our daughters eighth birthday, Father's Day and our wedding anniversary..... All days were cause for celebration......Father's Day was tough though....both the kids struggled during the week beforehand...making presents in their classrooms for a dad who no longer exists was tough...... But they handled it....on the day itself we decided to paint a wall in our house his favourite colour- black.....so we now have a black wall in the house......cool!! The kids have been amazing.......my five year old is sad very much in the moment, then he moves on super fast.... My daughter who is eight is struggling....but has such amazing support around her.....it has been wonderful!! Cancer is a bad word in our house......much like a swear word really......the kids get quite irate when people say it..... It is quite interesting really how they act with talk of cancer. On the whole though, we are doing okay....I had never imagined myself as a single parent...and still don't think of myself as one....so when it is pointed out to me by government departments, it comes as a shock still..... And filling out the tax form was weird......I am now a widow....weird...... And the conversations I've had with government agencies when telling them of his passing......well I could write an essay on the variety of responses/ reactions I have had......Telstra wanted to speak to him so I could cut off his mobile phone.......I kid you not......... Anyway.....just checking in really.......hope you lot out there who are enduring this journey too find a little peace and quiet in the maelstrom!! PA
Super Contributor
Purpleangels I admire you for your attitude and for sharing. I am sure it is incredibly hard at times for you all and yet I am certain you are making it easier in the long run on not only yourself but your children too. I hope that you can get some peace and quiet occasionally. Julie xo
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Yes, weird is right. Though I used to say it was so surreal. I lost my partner 10months ago and it has been quite a journey. I wrote to his Car Insurance company as that was the only way I could cancel and stop the direct debit on my card. I then received a letter addressed to the (estate of the late) hoping that kevin would consider re-insuring with them again. Unbeleivable. I wrote to the Executive Manager as it was his signature on the auto generated letter pointing out how insensitive he is. They are going to review their policies. I am now being treated with "undue harshness" by his Super company. We were defactos and kept all our finances seperate (due to his previous marriage) and they are not accepting that we were partners because we didn't have joint names on mortgage and utility bills. After what carers go through emotionally throughout and after their loved one dies, this is a total insult. You think you are through the worst and then you have to deal with this crap. I got through birthday and Christmas ok. However, the upcoming AFL Grand Final has spun me out. Kevin only watched the footy if it was a good game. While he was sick I watched it with hm and developed a bit of an interest which died with him. Last year he had what was to be his 3rd and final op for removing another brain tumor on the Fri before the game. He was most distressed at the thought of missing the game as the Grand Final was like a public holiday to him and he always watched the game. I became very distressed as I knew it would be his last GF and they don't have TV in the HDU. When I got there 2 of the gorgeous nurses had got him dressed in his new trackie and into a wheelchair and told me if I stayed with him, I could take him to the waiting room to watch the game. I got some sandwiches and we enjoyed the game with some other visitors. he was so happy. I remember thinking if this is his last day, then it's ok as he had a great one. I always remember that. He lived another 2 months. I send you and your children lots of love and hope you work through it and that these bureacrats get some training in empathy.
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I read this in great hope that I can cope as well as you. I struggle to imagine telling my 4 year old that dad isn't going to be with us forever. Breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing
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