Thanks so much to harker and Jules2 for your insights about the Dex. The psychiatrist got him off it instantly, so you were right there. Thanks, also, to you both and Maddie86 and tfox64 for your support. Invaluable at such an alone time. I hope that I can support others as you have supported me.
But a week is a long time and I have a sad story to tell. Not too long after my last post Ray, my husband, became far too violent and aggressive for me to handle - he was "rewiring" the power to the house by playing around in the meter box - luckily he just turned everything off - so I had to ring 000 [I wasn't hurt too much]. The cops had to come to protect the ambos. Small country town, remember, so I know the ambos personally [Cop, too, but he was off duty]. The neighbours, bless them, came from everywhere. I didn't realise so many people were looking out for me. I wasn't there, but I was told that they had to sedate him to get in the ambulance.
He's been in the hospital since then - last Friday. With a security guard watching him. Cops have told me not to allow him to come back here - they are worried about my safety. I must say that the police have been wonderful. Might just be country cops - might not happen in the city - but they have checked on me and Ray, and they actually care about us. Considering that it's a medical problem and not a police problem...
The next morning after he was hospitalised the psychiatrist sorted his medication. No more Dex, no more Endep and weaning off Oxycontin. No reduction of violent episodes, but at least they weren't directed towards me. They concluded that it was either a] the cancer itself; b] the chemo; c] the drugs. [Not, as the oncologist tried to indicate "marital problems" - haven't decided if I'll confront her with my solicitor yet].
He went to hospital on Friday night and I didn't see him till sunday. He was pretty out of it then. Monday, the psychiatrist rang and said ray was really good and nearly ready for discharge, but he wanted me to go and give them my input. I did, and Ray was about 50% of my husband. Nowhere near right. But it looks now like that is all I'm going to get and I'd better be grateful for it, because that's the last time he was lucid. He's off in his own world now and I've lost him.
I stuck to my guns and we did the big planning meeting on Wed. 11 Health Professionals and me. Should have been me & Ray, but he was too sedated to attend. So, as of Wednesday, he was going to respite for 2 weeks, effective monday. Don't think so. The psychiatrist rang me today and said he'd done everything he could - the problem must be cancer in the brain. I saw Ray today. He knew me, I think - but as someone in a computer game. He's on his own planet and I've lost him.
My eyes are leaking.
Thanks for listening.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.