A couple of weeks ago I dreamed that I was watching next year's AFL Grand Final and it was looking like Hawthorn was going to lose. I was thinking 'this can't be happening again, not again' and I felt so dreadfully unable to cope with it. This dream has remained clear in my mind since although I normally quickly forget dreams. I didn't realise at first but then when I thought about it I saw that it was a very obvious translation of worry about my annual check-up. I was not conscious of being worried but underneath I clearly was. I had the check-up and it was all fine apart from having put on some weight which is a whole other bucket load of both practical and emotional issues. I hope by writing my dream down I can stop remembering it. I don't want to talk to people about it as they think I am past having cancer issues and I don't want them to know how much it still effects me.
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