What an exhausting weekend and its only sat, I am totally buggered. Today both Dan and I are "recovering" from a massive emotional drain - yes that's right a huge ass fight. For months we have filled our life cup with constant stress, anxiety, fear, pain, treatment for cancer, everything cancer and more cancer. Our cups have been full but no time or energy to empty the stress. So its no wonder a stress driven fight happened,. We said stupid things, we brought up the past and even each others families. Oh my it was a pretty mess for sure, Dan leaving the house (for hrs) claiming to never return. Thankfully he did return, we apologised and spoke before heading off to bed to a very sleepless night. Although fights are emotional, draining and damaging we realised its ok to want time out and to take it. Otherwise we are letting each other down and ourselves too. We will always be faced with fear and for a while cancer challenges so we best find some ways to unwind -vwalking each day just ain't going to cut it..... "Stress is the trash of modern life - we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly it will pile up and overtake your life". Danzae Pace
Frequent Contributor
Life as a couple is hard enough, let alone when one partner has cancer. There are two F words to remember of: forgive and forget :) Strange as it is for me, a very private person, I find off loading my problem by talking about whatever shit I experience with my close friend helps me a lot. I had never been one to share my life story like that with anyone even my close friend. I guess when my best friend is my partner and we fight, I just have to talk to my second best friend, I guess. Take care and big hugs for you!!
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It's perfectly understandable that a build up of tension caused a big snap . I liked the quote at the end of your blog .When a couple are together a lot ,they each need some time without the other . Otherwise things can start to bug each about the other ,things which would otherwise be ignored . My thoughts only .
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I also either read or heard something recently. I think it was an interview on tv. The person had been in some traumatic experience and he said that "you need to learn to live with fear, rather than conquer it". I wonder if we focussed on that whether it would help in other areas of our lives. I have been tossing this one around in my head for a while and am undecided and yet lean towards liking the concept. Ruby, cancer is just a tough gig on everyone and for each and every person in the family and friends it is different. It can be tough on all relationships, whether they be spouse, partner, sibling etc... I thought about going to some counselling when I was going through treatment, however, due to my being a country patient there simply wasn't time and or the resources to get there. hugsss Julie
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