Full circle

[Braveb]

The term 'young' in cancer circles usually refers to people with cancer under the age of 50-60. For me, I prefer the term 'really young', but that would confuse me with the kid or young adult cohort (normally up to the age of 25). The labels and grouping are important because people my age face unique issues when we meet cancer. One of those issues is becoming a child again I'm currently wearing nappies. I've had a rectal tube removed, but there is a steady trickle of fluid that still wants to leave my bot bot. It looks like chocolate milk but smells like a dead wombat. And it's runny. So runny that I can't really choose when it is going to exit. Hence the nappies. Having my parents around to help with cancer has been a blessing. I quite happily slipped straight into the role I must have once occupied of high-dependent demanding brat. 'I want...' and 'I need this NOW' have flowed quite naturally from my cancer-affected mouth. So you're 29 and went shopping for nappies with your Mum, I get it. Mums are really good at this kind of stuff. Mum knew exactly where to get nappies and what sort would be best. And to prove I have almost completely regressed I let her pay for them. I've come full circle. My parents have been there this year when I've lost control of my bowels, soiled my clothes, soiled my bed and soiled my dressing gown (I've soiled nearly everything you can legally soil). They have handed me urine collection jugs, poo collection jugs, wet ones to wipe my bot bot and wet cloths to cool my vomiting body. They've given me cash. They have tried to feed me. They've bought me lollies. They have given me massages, cut my toe nails (bending at that angle was impossible for a while), served me food in bed and gone to the shop at stupid hours for a particular ice cream I've wanted. Thanks to all the parents out there of 'young' people with cancer. We couldn't do it with out you. My blog online: http://benbbrave.blogspot.com/2011/08/full-circle.html

[samex]

Hi Ben, I I am nowhere near as young as you - 50 at diagnosis but I also had an interesting experience with my then quite elderly parents. They, at the time were early 80s. As with most of us my diagnosis was out of the blue and hit my parents the hardest of all - much harder than my husband and at least one of my sons. (That's another story!) My Dad had received radiation treatment for prostate cancer so had some idea of what was going on, but every second Wednesday, they were at the hospital for the final 2 hours of my 4-5 hour infusion. We then formed a ritual of Dad buying me lunch at the cafe at the hospital while I was still able to eat!They continued this for the entire 7 months of treatment and when they went away fo a couple of weeks, I had to plead with them to go and assure them that I would be OK. Funnily I still had lunch at the cafe after treatment! One of the most poignant moments of the whole ordeal was when Mum cired and said that even though I was 50, I was still her little girl. So yes, I agree - tips our lids to the parents - whatever the age!. Samex PS - My Dad had the same difficulty that you have with leaky bits. His was caused by the radiation burning his rectum and anus.I think that he found this part the worst of the whole ordeal. Good luck with it all.

[Braveb]

Samex, thanks so much for sharing. Your parents sound super sweet and supportive. I'm not a parent yet so I don't fully appreciate the feeling one must get when looking at a child - but you're Mum is so right, we never stop being their little boys and girls do we.

[craftyone]

Hi Ben, Talking of smell, I used to give my partner a warning when some gas decided to exit without any warning. Now, it's my turn to complain because an ileostomy doesn't smell as much and he tends to let them rip worse than me. My experience with cleaning up after involuntary ejection of fluid was with my mother, the opposite to you. We would be cleaning her up and then there would be a "blast" like a machine gun and she'd say "got you", although it was usually mainly wind. Our bottoms do give us some comic moments when you look back. Good on your parents in helping you, I bet they loved being able to help - mine weren't around, so only the partner who sometimes had to rush into the bedroom to get me new undies when a leak occurred. craftyone

[samex]

Craftyone, Chemo does wonderful things to the smell of everything doesn't it!? My family would howl if they were unfortunate enought to venture into the loo after I had need of rushing there as a result of chemo side effects. Not only was there little warning and even less control, but the chemo smell was horrendous! How wonderful it is to have a forum where bodily functions (and disfunctions) can be discussed with candour and humour while always keeping in mind those who help us through the ordeal. Hope things are improving Ben. Samex

[harker]

I can't compete with any of this. I can offer a salute from here, that's all. H

[kj]

Ben I read you're post and marvel at the way you are coping you have wonderful parents as well but you already know that. I take my hat off to you all best wishes kj