This is my first post. 2009 is without doubt the worst year of my life. I will be alone for new year, but I will hopeful that 2010 is better... I lost a lot this year. The diagnosis and treatment has been hard, everything is different. I also lost my relationship. As a single parent I struggle with finding time to look after me in between looking after my son and working. I had to go back to work full time 4 weeks after treatment and it was too soon. The fatigue just won't go away. My feelings of being alone are exacerbated by the fact that my relationship ended the day before I had to go back to work. I spent my 40th birthday in a Sydney hospital having a radical hysterectomy. Following this, chemo and radiation - it made me so sick.... apparently I am in the small group of people that are highly sensitive to the treatment, and apparently this is a good thing???? I don't think I could ever do it again.... Nothing in my body is the same as it was before all of this. Will I ever adjust? I still don't know what is happening. I just keep turning up for appointments. They took out some lymph nodes also. This adds another layer of issues for me. I also have pre-existing chronic pain issues - I am so sick of my body and sick to death of taking copious amounts of medication. I don't know what 2010 has in store for me, and I struggle to be positive, but I do genuinely wish all a happy new year and hope that you have a better year in 2010. For me, it won't be 2009, so that is instantly better! For this reason alone I will probably stay up to celebrate the end of 2009!
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