Decided to post this here rather than just with the Writer's Group as i wondered whether others experienced the sentiments.Or whether I am just being dramatic as my 20 year old always claims? Sailor I must acknowledge you as I used your shadow metaphor - it seemed the most apt -basically I couldn't think of a better one! ANyway - here goes. (As usual the formatting changed slightly when I transferred it from Word to here.) A Plea to others Please accept me for who I have become. Please accept that my life now has a sense of urgency that previously didn’t exist. While I may have 20 or 30 years to fulfil my dreams – I also may not. That uncertainty is ever present for me. Please accept that physically I spent 8 months having my body frayed by the knife and the drugs. While I appear to have recovered, often the hours on my feet or vacuuming or scrubbing or merely living still take their toll. Please accept that emotionally my soul is worn. It now has difficulty coping with the stress or the confrontation or the grief of myself or others, so that it dissolves into tears so much more readily. I am not being dramatic, perhaps I just feel more. Please accept that the shadow lingers incessantly. At times the shadow diminishes but at others it looms forebodingly ready to invade all rational thought. Please accept that my life became a jigsaw. The pieces are slowly being reassembled but they have not all been returned to the same place, some may still be missing – searching for their correct position. Please accept that - I need to have my dreams to make sense of what has happened, to find meaning to be able to turn the experience into one where I have gained, rather than lost. Please simply accept that I have changed but that I am still me.
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