My tears have always come at different times for different reasons over my life. I cry when I am sad, I cry when I am happy, I cry well just sometimes cause I need to?
I have respected Dads wishes not to cry in front of him over the past 16 months, with only one time when he was recently admitted to hospital and I just had to let it out. We talked about it, we hugged and he thanked me for trying to hold it together for as long as I did. He reflected with me and expressed that maybe it was a big ask to hold our emotions in when we were around him; especially given that I can be pretty emotional around my family especially with my Dad- its just always been that way.
I have been able to keep it together since this time but on the weekend found the tears streaming down my face while sitting with my Dad, Mum and brother having a laugh...I was happy but I know that the tears were sadness. Sadness that these times together are so limited, sadness that my one strong Dad was looking very frail and sad too, sadness that my mum is looking very tired, worn and trying to hide so many emotions 😞
My Dad kept loking at my tears, Im sure he was wondering whether they really were the happy tears that they looked like but i don't think I fooled him....
I know its okay to cry and believe me there are times that the tears come for no reason. I cherish them though and reflect on why they are there. I love my Dad xox
