How do you keep your sanity in the wonderful world of cancer,do you pray it goes away,do you fight it all guns drawn.do you embrace it and learn from it or do you live with it and just ride the bumps.I dont have the answers but I do have emotions that I never knew existed,maybe this is a blessing,maybe now I can feel maybe now I can cry or laugh or just be.Hugs and wishes to all out there fighting,praying,laughing,crying or just being.
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Super Contributor
I guess I just "live with it " now that I am in remission. Between diagnosis and the start of treatment was the worst time for me ,scary . After the final surgery ,during radiation ,what surgery did was depressing . Now 21 months after radiation finished,I think about it ,live with side effects and the knowledge that it will return , but will not worry until something happens . (maybe a tiny bit when there is a new pain in or near the affected area) . This attitude came from talking to others worse off than I . Living with the effects is/was for me worse than living wih the thought of its return. That's easy to say now but was not early on. I just try to live as normally as possible ,but it's not the life I had. I wish you the best ,too.
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New Contributor
All of you the wonderful community has helped so much and I thankyou for your words of advice and kind wishes I cannot tell you how much it all helps.I wish to you all the same kind words and wishes and together we will get through this.X
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Contributor
It is not that easy to hold on to your sanity when dx with a life threatening illness. I think we all remember that day. Tts like we all remember where we were when we heard the news of the Twin Towers coming down, and some of us older ones also remember where we were when Elvis died, when John Lennon got shot, life changing events. The news of the dx is a life changing event for our own world. Within a heartbeat, everything but everything changes, future plans, emotions.life expectancy. I havnt cried since I was about 6 when my mum wouldnt buy me a lollie I demanded. Now at 64 I cry everyday, and thats from a carers viewpoint. Trying to live " normally " is not easy, this ratbag of a disease when it kicks our door down is omnipresent and takes up our thoughts. Its hard to get away from it, if at all possible. Once the shock and horror of the dx have subsided enough to be able to regain rational thought, the journey begins. Emotions, sadness, despair, anger, loss of normality, and grief, yes they are all there. Fight the insidious disease as best you can, positive thinking, meditation, treatment, but cry when you want, its not about giving in, or being weak, crying means we are human,and we are now in a place we never in a lifetime expected to be. Wombat4
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New Contributor
Wombat4,you truly are an amazing man and I will carry your message with me in my heart and mind over this journey.You have made a difference to my day and the way that I will now handle this insidious disease.I thank you from the bottom of my heart its so nice to know someone is there that can give such positive and inspiring advice even through their own adversity.So from the bottom of my heart I thankyou.With enormous hugs and wishes.X
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Occasional Contributor
Thank you for your post,it sums me up very well indeed.. Having our lives change so suddenly and our plans with it brings up every emotion known to mankind. I have just started showing photos of past holidays that I burnt onto cd's so my husband can sit in his comfy chair and see them on the TV.That brings up heaps of memories and fun. I personally keep a journal and paint during the time my husband is asleep. Gentle hugs. Dotty
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Contributor
Hi Tina, before cancer my life was blooming and going swimming 3 times a week. I was up with the house work and ironing and life with me was great. Then this terrible diagnoses was with me as I was diagnosed in May 2010 with breast cancer having 2 lots of cruel surgery. Our life can change in a strong way with cancer and the feelings of it is the feelings that we haven't had to deal with in our lives till this happens. This can change us also personally. Glenys 00
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Super Contributor
Dotty and Rex,the photos sound like a great idea!!! Even though my cancer is in my thoughts every day ,it does not stop me from doing all the" normal " things in life . Cancer sites and contact with new online friends is for the most part a positive thing for me. There is also sadness as some are no longer here and when others are going through painful times. The posivity ,courage and strenghth of many I've met online is humbling and at the same time uplifting. I've seen it written by someone that "I have cancer but it doesn't have me." Still there are critical times when cancer does take over entirely .
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Deceased
Wombat what you said is so true. I try and live as normal life as possible but what is a normal life with cancer. I will never be the same healthy, fit and out going friendly person that I used to be but I try hard. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of the cancer inside me that will never go away and that one day will take my life and every now and then I cry and I'm not ashamed of it. It helps me to talk about it with the few friends I have made that also have cancer and I know it helps them also. In fact every time I go in for my chemo I meet someone new and even though we don't talk about our cancers we talk and get to know each other and it just helps to pass the time away whilst receiving chemo. I talk and joke with the nurses and staff and after all my hospital is now basically my second home. Every now and then I email all my friends and relatives just to fill them in with how I am and what the latest cat scan says, or I post on facebook so that those that aren't that close to me are still able to catch up with my progress. I try and plan a future knowing that it won't last long but at least I'm thinking outside the cancer square and that is one of the main things to help keep the sanity, don't think of the end as you don't know when it will come. I plan for years yet even though I know I may only last maybe another 12months and when I'm through the next 12months I will extend my future plan. I look at all future possible pancreatic cancer treatments continually and the latest with the laser treatment that should be through in about 5 years helps to keep me going. I made a big mistake in trying to protect my loved ones and kept my feelings, doubts, insecurities to myself, this mistake nearly led me to taking my own life, now I know that I have to open myself up to them and they also know to make sure I don't keep my feelings to myself anymore. They now ask me more and we all talk more openly about my cancer. It no longer matters if it is just a very very tiny thought that gets to me, I now share it. Just messaging on this site helps and knowing that I am not alone in this fight against cancer, reading others fights, despair, worries, happiness helps keep the sanity. It's only if we allow ourselves to drown within our own despondency that we lose sanity. Cancer is a bitch and that's putting it mildly. While we are all on this site and talking we are fighting it to the best of our abilities and that is saying a lot. My love, thoughts, prayers, hopes and dreams are for everyone on this site whether they be a cancer fighter or a carer.
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