I am 27, he is 28 . . We were seeing each other for a couple of months n then he was diagnosed With Lymphoma cancer. currently undergoing chemo. . No response from him for over a month now. What do I do.?
4 Comments
Frequent Contributor
It is still early days for him. I was surrounded by family and friends when I was diagnosed with a blood cancer and I still went into a very private space for some months. I was using all my energy dealing with it. I had so little left over for my wife and others. It was hard for her. It is better now and we have both learned a bit about the way each of us reacts to changes. All I can say is be patient. Maybe send a card? Or drop in? It may be that he is feeling he should let you off the hook? I felt guilty for having cancer for a long long time. Many months. H
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Occasional Contributor
I am having a similar problem with my boyfriend, The doctors found a tiny lump in his lung while doing other tests and it was thought to be lung cancer, as it turns out its melanoma. We are still waiting to hear what this all means but my boyfriend has almost shut me and his whole family out. I have to ask to go with him to appointments, he won't talk about his feelings, he just tells everyone it doesn't help to talk or worry so just forget it. I am struggling with this as is his family. Sorry not to have any idea how to help you but I agree with the above comment and I would send flowers or a card or better still call him or drop in to see him and tell him you still want to be there for him, if thast how you feel. Most likely if you leave it to him to contact you he never will. My boyfriend told me I have a decision to make when he was told he had cancer and when I asked what he meant by that he said he didn't want me to have to go through the cancer thing again. My son had cancer 11 years ago, he is fine now and also my step dad died of cancer and he knew this. I burst into tears and told him I wasn't going to leave him because he got cancer. So maybe your guy is thinking the same thing. I would go see him soon if you want to be with him. I hope I have helped you is some way. 🙂
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My story: I met him early November last yr. we were seeing each other n liked each other, everything was going smooth! he was diagnosed with Lymphoma in feb, he was keeping me informed, then one day sms me That i should not worry about him anymore as he can't be a good partner like I deserve n he wants to focus on his daughter! I replied with I will respect his wishes. he wanted to see me plenty. He did call me to see him at the hospital which he appreciated my company. Last few weeks completely shut me out! I am a pretty positive person. You can cure yourself, you can change your life, I believe in all of that. He has some of my books which is good however I receive a call from his best friend giving me some details about where he is at, he had asked his friend to call me. He is 28 and I'm 27. So i have been giving him weekly SMS to insure he knows I'm here. Leaving him gifts at home. Calls once a week. Finally yesterday he replies with I don't have long to go so I'm spending it with my family n daughter n thanks for everything. I told him about Robert Von who does the betroot juicing and that it can really help him., .n told him that I'm crazy about him. How do I know the difference between 'I don't want you around-leave me alone' or enjoying the MSG but just focusing on my experience' eg time to let go or hang in der n b patient. Between hey I want to give up or hey give me some inspiration to switch my thought pattern. Between being assertive to see him or being patient? '
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Contributor
wow your story is like mine! i was with my husband for 6 months then he got diagnosed... it wasnt easy and i felt so very alone especially when he tried to break up with me. All i wanted to do was help! he was moody, grumpy, sad and secrative. His family felt as if i was pulling him away from them but i just wanted to care for him and give him everything i had in my power to make him better. Sadly he passed away in november. During the time he was sick we grew closer and travelled and we even got married! I wish he was still here but im glad he is no longer in pain.. im only 26 so its been really hard for me! I miss him so much... please feel free to message me and im happy to chat and answer any questions you want to ask xx
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