I thought Rob getting cancer was as bad as it could get but it seems the universe really wants to keep on testing me and how much I can take. I am scared that this time, I'm not up to the task.
I lost my job on Monday. Although classified as a casual worker, last year my company offered me a full time permanent position. I did the medical (I strained my shoulder in the process) and they did all my reference checks, it was just a matter of waiting over Christmas for head office to do all the necessary paperwork. This company is renowned for being quite slow in the recruitment process however after Christmas was over, I asked when things would be finalised. I just wanted some stability and security with everything else going on and they are quite aware of Robs cancer and our situation. Nothing had been finalised yet it seems.
Sitting at home on Monday (I get Mondays off because I work Saturdays instead), I got a call telling me not to come in the next day, there isn't enough work. They don't know when they'll be calling me back and therefore I don't get paid in the meantime.
Funny thing is, I know this is crap as I've had plenty of work up until this point (I'm multiskilled across a few peoples positions). I know the industry is quiet but there is work to do.
To make matters worse, Rob's ex has decided she wants more child support for their son. She complained to CSA who lodged an enquiry and now as a result, Rob has to pay a bigger chunk which we can't afford. We found out the CSA's decision on Monday morning. I have literally cried buckets in complete frustration and anger at the total ineptitude of our judicial system.
Now that I am not earning, Rob and I are in extreme dire straits financially. Basically, we can't afford to live. To cap it all off, Centrelink will not let me apply for the dole because Rob earns far too much (he's a public servant). We can barely afford Rob's chemo drugs!
I don't know what to do. I've never been out of a job for long as my skills are strong but in the event I am unable to find something, we have nothing to fall back on - savings have been depleted due to fighting this shitty disease and everything that goes with it. The pressure is almost near on breaking me.
Oh and Rob goes for his first CT since chemo started next Wednesday. I am beyond petrified. Please God, please let him be ok. I don't care if I end up homeless, don't let me lose my husband too.
How do I get through this? What do I do? Where do I go when no-one else will help us? How do I keep it together when I'm wreck from all the stress?
I don't know what to do.
