The first time I saw my oncologist, he said: " you are going to die, I cannot fix it, I cannot operate. The question is when. What Ican do is make you more comfortable and try to prolong your life".So I have had 2 cycles of chemo 3rd starting Thursday, plus pain drugs and although I have some skin problems , physically I look the same as ever, I still have my hair , I haven't had any significant weight loss and the tumours have shrunk significantly which means the treatment is doing what it set out to do. I think it makes it hard for my family to comprehend that I am sick. I do feel quite well during the week I don't have chemo, just tired a lot, not too much pain, but I am discovering that my body is much more limited in what it can do. I keep having to tell people to slow down when walking as I cannot keep up with them.So yes there are unseen signs that I feel but not much outward ones, which really makes me feel like a fraud.
When I read about what a lot of you are going through, I think I am really lucky so far and hope it stays this way, I just wish you all had an easier ride. Reading your stories makes me stronger and a little ashamed about my feelings. I hope I will grow to have your courage.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.