I want to see if cancer connections can help my kids adjust to me living with cancer. We have moved from out west to have access to better services and have left a happy life and friends behind to start again which is really hard on them all.
8 Comments
Super Contributor
Hi Beans Hope your move went well for you. Your kids might find canteen useful as I believe they offer assistance to kids going through a cancer diagnosis. I tried to get my son to contact them but he was a little bit older and didn't feel it was right for him. Julie
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Super Contributor
Can't offer any suggestions but think Julie's advice sounds like a good start .
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New Contributor
Thanks. I feel like I just want to lift their burden as much as I can. I feel like I want to make up for having cancer and the imapct that it has had on them. I know nothing is going to really make up for it but I need to know at least my guys are ok, for now at least. Emailed Canteen last night. Cross fingers Beans
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Occasional Contributor
Hi Beans I totally understand your need to find support for your kids. Cancer has an incredible impact on our young ones lives. I know my own children were frantic to know what would happen to them if I died, and sadly they had to put up with some pretty brutal and unfeeling comments from other kids at school. My social worker suggested they have counciling - this was handled through their school and had the most positive impact on them. The school councillor was available to them once per week to talk over any problems they were facing and was so suppotive of both my children and myself. Out of our cancer journey, my kids have learnt to be so helpful, caring, understanding of hard situations that families can face. They can now cook themselves - and me - a meal, put the washing on the line, iron and have become really aware of the differences they came make through community service - raising money etc, all by age 11. While I wish they didn't have to share this experience with me - I think they are so much stronger for it. Support comes from different areas - councillors, canteen, websites, friends, families and strangers. I wish your kids all the very best and I hope that you all become a stronger family unit for your journey through this. Betsy
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Occasional Contributor
Hi Beans I totally understand your need to find support for your kids. Cancer has an incredible impact on our young ones lives. I know my own children were frantic to know what would happen to them if I died, and sadly they had to put up with some pretty brutal and unfeeling comments from other kids at school. My social worker suggested they have counciling - this was handled through their school and had the most positive impact on them. The school councillor was available to them once per week to talk over any problems they were facing and was so suppotive of both my children and myself. Out of our cancer journey, my kids have learnt to be so helpful, caring, understanding of hard situations that families can face. They can now cook themselves - and me - a meal, put the washing on the line, iron and have become really aware of the differences they came make through community service - raising money etc, all by age 11. While I wish they didn't have to share this experience with me - I think they are so much stronger for it. Support comes from different areas - councillors, canteen, websites, friends, families and strangers. I wish your kids all the very best and I hope that you all become a stronger family unit for your journey through this. Betsy
0 Kudos
Occasional Contributor
Hi Beans I totally understand your need to find support for your kids. Cancer has an incredible impact on our young ones lives. I know my own children were frantic to know what would happen to them if I died, and sadly they had to put up with some pretty brutal and unfeeling comments from other kids at school. My social worker suggested they have counciling - this was handled through their school and had the most positive impact on them. The school councillor was available to them once per week to talk over any problems they were facing and was so suppotive of both my children and myself. Out of our cancer journey, my kids have learnt to be so helpful, caring, understanding of hard situations that families can face. They can now cook themselves - and me - a meal, put the washing on the line, iron and have become really aware of the differences they came make through community service - raising money etc, all by age 11. While I wish they didn't have to share this experience with me - I think they are so much stronger for it. Support comes from different areas - councillors, canteen, websites, friends, families and strangers. I wish your kids all the very best and I hope that you all become a stronger family unit for your journey through this. Betsy
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Not applicable
Hi Beans, I know of some sufferers that haven't told their kids at all of their diagnosis and hide the very fact. If a tragedy happens I feel these kids are going to struggle with the grieving process due to anger. I am 13 years in with terminal carcinoid syndrome and my kids (9 and 15) have learned to deal with my predicament remarkably well and I think they are better prepared for any outcome and it's certainly made them stronger. If there is a lesson in this, it's openness and honesty, let them in, don't shut them out. Kids are very resilient and adjust better than adults do. Take time out to talk to them and ask how they are feeling each week and you'll then see any changes within them if they are not coping. Stay on top of it and include them where practical, especially when there is good news, just be mindful that continual bad news is difficult on all of the family unit. Sometimes you have to withhold but not too often. You'll be fine because you're already conscious of their feelings and wellness. Good luck, Rich
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Super Contributor
Hi Rich What a wonderful attitude you have towards your situation. It is tough to have to share such things with kids but they are far better off knowing than not. We can always put things in age appropriate terms and until children reach a certain age they simply do not understand death at all. If anyone is in doubt I would urge them to contact a child psychologist or someone who at least has some formal knowledge in this area. I have almost finished reading Jim Stynes book and it was for me a wonderful read and the way he handled everything is the way that I have always hoped that I would be able to do things should things turn a bit nasty on me. Julie
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