This evening my bright little 6 year old daughter who is in the top reading group in her class, sat and stared at her home reader and grumpily refused to even sound out words she could easily manage or to think about them related to the pictures etc as they are meant to do. And I am ashamed to say I got really cranky with her for not trying - my husband is still at work even now (8:30pm) thanks to some horrible deadlines he cannot escape, and I feel like I am not keeping all the balls in the air. Not even close. I spent today meeting with the Palliative Care nurse at my mother-in-law's home then taking her to a GP appointment, squeezing in a little shopping and getting some washing off the line, cooked spaghetti bolognaise for dinner, got the dishwasher going - it all seems so small, so minor, and why does it leave me frazzled and exhausted? Its a little thing in one way but its not how I want my home and family to be. And how can we bring Grandma here if this is what our home is like? She surely doesn't want to be listening to home reading dramas and a short tempered mama during her last weeks.....
7 Comments
Occasional Contributor
KaxPlus2 Sounds like there is lots of love in your home and that would be very appealing. Mother's guilt is so tiring, be compassionate with yourself too, as you are with others. It is also ok for you to be cranky sometimes! Take care Rikki
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New Contributor
Thanks Rikki for your kind words and encouragment. Your comment about our home brought tears to my eyes! And probably a good cry is just what I, and my little girl, need. You're so right about mother's guilt too. Just creeps up on you....thanks for making me more alert to its insidious approach.
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Super Contributor
Perhaps it's best to find a time when you feel calm and rested,if possible, before you sit down with your little girl. If you are not in the right state of mind it may be best to just take a different approach, e.g. ask her to read to you as you need to hear her beautiful reading . Don't stress too much if she makes mistakes or skip it for that evening or afternoon. I think your mother-in-law would understand . No household with children runs perfectly and no mother is perfect. You sound like a wonderful mum.
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Contributor
I know what you mean about all of the juggling. About the middle of last year caring for my wife who had colorectal cancer with mets in her liver. Some bxxxxxds approached my wifes mother in her front garden, she is 90 and they said her roof looked in poor condition and need spraying. She is deaf and at 90 does not have the sharpest mind. The next day they appeared, didnt clean the roof , no prep, spent 3hrs spraying, got a cheque out of her for $14 000, went to the bank and cashed it. The bank rang her and asked if it was ok, and she said yes, also her credit cards went. My wife and I found out when they were in the house " helping " her look for her cheque book. We live over 100ks away.The police were involved some weeks later and the Fair Trading Dept, but who needs all of that in bad times. So all of that while we were battling terminal cancer, and all the treatment that goes with it. The mother in law was also now at risk and needed looking after. It took some effort to keep those balls in the air, I can tell you. My wife was my first priority and I certainly didnt need the extra hassle. Why cant mongrels like that get terminal cancer. Wombat4
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New Contributor
That is beyond horrible!! Must have been so very stressful for you and your wife.....Thanks for the perspective your experience provides too. That was some pretty tricky juggling you had on your hands and its encouraging to know you got through it. Like a few people have said, I shouldn't sweat the small stuff (like the home readers). None of us should really. Something I need to keep learning and being reminded of all the time.
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New Contributor
You are so right about finding a calm time if possible. Such a helpful tip, thank you. And in the end if we skip a few home readers at times on this journey it isn't going to matter. Your understanding and wise encouragement are such a blessing to me. Thank you.
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Super Contributor
I was sorry to read what happened to you mother- in -law. Even if the roof job was done properly it shouldn't have cost more than a few thousand dollars. Did the police achieve anything in this case? It must have been very upsetting for her,your wife and you,and at such a difficult time.
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