Well this is the first time for me since diagnosis to actually write down my feelings. Being diagnosed on the 23rd of December 2011 wasn't the best of Christmas presents and everything since then has been a whirlwind. Two rounds of Radiotherapy as after the first treatment it came back and that just happened to be my birthday present. Christmas 2012 wasn't much better as the second round of Radiotherapy wasn't successful and I had to go for surgery. Neck dissections aren't much fun. I had to have my surgery on the anniversary of my stillborn son and in the same hospital. I was so upset and I tried to delay it but when you are told it's urgent then perspectives soon get changed. Christmas Day was spent in a hospital bed away from my children. It was extremely hard. Results weren't much better. My life seems to be in 3 month increments. It seems after every treatment you get told we will wait 3 months for a scan. The hard part of that is I have to leave my home as I can't have treatment locally and have to leave for a length of time. I'm in that state once again as the cancer has spread into my veins and no clear margin. Waiting for April seems so far away. I try and go about life as normal as possible as my youngest is only 4. He just gets told that Mummy has a bad bug and the doctors need to take him out. My other children are older and I haven't kept anything from them. I understand that I am lucky as if my time comes to an end at least I can say goodbye to my loved ones and they can say goodbye to me. I'm just grateful I'm here for another day.
4 Comments
Contributor
Hi Mrs Murt's, I did just write to you, but the text seemed to disappear off the screen. I'll give it another go. I had Merkel Cell Carcinoma, diagnosed back in February 2002. My MCC had metastasised to a lymph node under my left armpit. If I can support you in anyway or you need someone to talk to about your journey, please don't hesitate to contact me. Merkel.
0 Kudos
New Contributor
Hi Merkel, Mine started on my scalp then spread just outside my treatment area to a lymph node in my neck. The second round of treatment wasn't successful as the cancer completely took over the lymph node and changed it to a tumor instead. I had to have a neck dissection over Christmas with the results being that it has now invaded the vein and no clear margin. I have had to wait again for another three months for another scan. It's the constant waiting the three months every time which I'm finding hard. When I got my results after surgery the first Oncologist said that there was nothing more they can do for me. I was very surprised when I read that yours had spread to the lymph node under your arm. When I was first diagnosed they were worried about me that mine had spread to my armpit and they said that if it had there was nothing they could do for me and I might live 12 months. Lucky for me then that it had stayed localised. I don't dwell on everything. Life is to precious for that. I've tried to stay as normal as possible.
0 Kudos
Contributor
Hi, Can you tell me where your being treated. I was treated at the Mater Hospital Newcastle. My MCC started in the middle of my upper torso at the top of my chest and spread across to my left lymph node.All else was clear. Merkel
0 Kudos
New Contributor
Hi Merkel, Mine started on the right side of my scalp. It attached itself to a lump which I had on my scalp for over 12 years which had been tested and was only a lump of fat cells so when it got to the stage I couldn't even sleep on that side I went to the doctor and said I wanted the lump removed. They sent me for an ultrasound and not knowing that it was Merkel removed it without clear margins. I'm being treated at the Royal Brisbane. They are all great but I just hate the waiting. I can phone them at anytime though and if I start to have symptoms which I don't think are normal I can go to my own Dr and he can arrange a ct scan, which I think I might do today as I am having blood in my phlegm in the morning which doesn't normally happen to me. I have a permanent strip of hairless on my scalp which I joke about with the kids. I joke a lot just to keep me sane. My husband said he would prefer me to have no hair and have me alive. He is just wonderful. Mrs Murt
0 Kudos
Post new blog
Talk to a health professional
Cancer Council support and information 13 11 20Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm
Cancer Information and Support

Online resources and support

Access information about support services, online resources and a range of other materials.

Caring for someone with cancer?

Find out what resources and support services are available to assist you.