I am finding it incredibly difficult to find meaning, purpose and motivation since being diagnosed terminal .
I have metastatic breast cancer spread to my lymphatic system. I get incredibly tired, the treatment also has unpleasant side effects which all makes physical activity more difficult. A frustration as I have been a very physical person. I am a single person without children and I wonder if I had a loving family & children to care for would I feel less this pervading pointlessness and purposelessness?
I have been self employed, working in the field of art and creative production. Now even my art can not inspire or motivate me. I feel like I am in limbo, a pointless existance just waiting to die. Lately even being sociable is difficult as I feel such a pressure to always present as “ positive”, and coping. But I really am not coping at all. I do not put stock in social workers or psychologists as I have previously had terrible experiences with these professions. I feel like as a person with a terminal illness I am not allowed to speak of my heartbreak, upset or fears. I still look relatively well and I think this is why so many friends and associates can not relate to what is really happening, but having worked on a palliative ward for cancer patients I know what my future progression in the illness will look like. I am exhausted.
Has anyone else felt anything similar and if so how did or do you push through anD find purpose and motivation? Thank you
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.