My dad has cancer and I can't cope with it

[Jessica_1992]

Hi, 

My name is Jessica and I am 27 years old. We recently found out that my dad has neck cancer, stage 4 and the cancer has also spread to his brain. Everyday, I feel so helpless and sad when I look at him. I wish I could do something to take his pain away. I can only imagine what he must be going through. When I look at him, I know he wants to cry but I pretend to be strong so that it doesn't make him weak. But I feel so fragile inside. I feel like someone has punched my gut and I can't breathe. Looking at your loved ones and knowing that they are in pain is the worst thing ever. We never had a family history of cancer so it's even more difficult because we don't really know what to do. His chemo is strating in two days and I am really scared because I have heard it leaves people really weak and makes them super sick. My dad was an athlete. He was always a healthy person and never fallen sick. He's so scared of needles and I can see it! Everytime we go for tests, he's so scared but he looks at me and says, "I am fine". I don't know what to do and I don't know why this happened to him. But this is such a tough time. I wish I knew how to cope with this better. We are so busy growing up and sometimes we fail to realise our parents are growing old too. 

[BruceC]

Hi Jessica

just seeing where your dad is at and how he is now going along with you and how you are coping.

i have seen my parents both battle cancer, and I am 3 months out from major surgery for Oesophagus Cancer. I had chemoradiation prior.

I am happy to discuss and share my experiences and give you support where I can even if it’s just someone to share your emotions with. I have 3 children aged 32 to 40 that have travelled my journey. I am 61.

All the best and dont feel alone.

Bruce

[Jessica_1992]

Hi BruceC

My dad is undergoing chemotherapy. The third one is due this Friday. Hoping everything gets better soon. Please keep him in your prayers. 

[BruceC]

Hi Jessica

sorry for not getting back sooner my cancer emails started going to Junk . 

i hope your dad is going okay with the Chemo, is it still going and has he had any side effects as it really does vary person to person. 

what are the next steps for your dad.

For you it’s about supporting and being there for him but also managing your well-being as you are all in this together. 

You can have your down times and will as will your dad that is normal and you will share them times then get back up and deal with what is ahead but don’t look to far ahead or scared off by internet stories as they are a very small sample. 

Please stay in touch and let me know the progress. 

With you in my thoughts stay strong. 

bruce 

[BruceC]

Jessica

i should also mention my brother in law has throat cancer and it spread to his brain also. 

He has had his throat cancer removed 6 months ago and is recovering well and eating fine but knows he has another 6 months before his new normal. He recently had Radiotherapy for his brain Tumor and had some eating issues after but is okay now and being monitored. We share our experiences as we really do understand what the other is going through and family support is everything But he will want quiet times and let him have them. 

maintaining weight is a big thing for him to maintain strength during any treatment program and I know to well that can be a challenge but sustagen or forty sips are a must. 

take  care 

Bruce