I've read a couple of blogs, because I wanted to try to understand my friend's situation better, and how or what I should or should not do. The best thing, seems to be there for her. It seems like a simple task but that is difficult for me. I've always been the one to step aside and let others comfort the crying friend. I'm not a very sensitive or comforting person. I'm not a pessimistic person, but i like to make things into a joke sometimes, and sometimes that may be in the form of sarcasm or black humour, which I dont think is too appropriate. or is it? I'm not sure. So to people who are friends of cancer patients, how do you feel/ what's it like/ what do you guys do? and to cancer patients, what's it like, the problems, the good times thanks Camilla
Super Contributor
It depends on the timing,situation,mood etc. Accept that your friend has a right to own his/her emotions. Don't try to tell the person to feel a certain way but try to share or do things you enjoted together in the past. Maybe jokes are appropriate at times.These are thoughts that just popped into my head. Others will have more to say. Oh, be patient but not patronising .Maybe ask what you can do to help or cheer or whatever.
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As a survivor, I have now come to realise how difficult it also is for those around us. One of the best things that friends did for me was to take me on 'airings'. They would pick me up and take me out for the morning, afternoon or whole day if I was well enough. They were also really good with not being offended if I cancelled at the last minute if I wasn't up to it. One day morning tea turned into a Thelma and Louise expedition for the whole day! I was buggered the next day but we had a lovely time. Another thing that I really appreciated was when this same friend timed the arrival of stupid cards for the week of treatment. So many times I arrived home after 4-5 hours in hospital/clinic to find a card with her handwriting on the front. They were always funny and often a birthday card with the birthday message crossed out but the rest of it was what cheered me up. Another friend would occasionally turn up with 'care'packages. Just a gift bag filled with inexpensive goodies. It was really thoughtful. Sorry, I seem to have rambled on. Maybe if you aren't the cuddly type, you can show that you care in other more practical or light hearted ways. When I was so ill on chemo, it was great when you knew that someone recognised this and acknowledged it. I'm sure that you will be fine.
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thanks for the suggestions people! I dont know how or what to do yet, but I have more confidence now. yosh! =D
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