New to all this!

[maggie_ganderto]

Hi all, i'm a sixty year old soon to be Granny, was teaching High School full time, and feeling pretty fit and pleased with myself. HOWEVER......Diagnosed with LMS in uterus 4 weeks ago. Still riding the roller coaster of high optimism to the depths of misery. Surgery next week and I'm scard of that too! Husband has fairly high powered job, but has always found it hard to express emotions. Sometimes he's so matter of fact about this I want to SCREAM! He is constantly telling me evrything's going to be fine and I'm sure he believes that as soon as the surgery is over I'll need to rest for a week or two then all will be back to "normal". At the moment it feels a bit like a bad dream. Any suggestions as to how I keep calm and not hit him over the head for being SO cheerful and breezy when sometimes I just want to think about a new way of life......I think I'm over teaching now and there are so many other things I want to do! Best wishes to all you lovely people out there who are having a hard time. I feel a bit of a fraud really being quite well at present ((apart from the tumour) but still feeling sorry for myself.

[kasianne]

Hi Maggie Sorry to read that you have to deal with this horrible disease and that you are only at the beginning of your journey but you must not feel like a fraud as the whole thought processes involved with being diagnosed and entering a journey of the unknown is scary stuff. By the time I was diagnosed I was extremely ill so it was a relief to actually get an answer as to what was wrong with me and everything happened extremely quickly after that but once my treatment commenced I started to feel better within weeks, leading to my operation which really took its toll on me but I did not let it keep me down for too long with doctors now being amazed by how well I look now and my recovery. Throughout this my husband kept up a stern and stoic front with humour to help get us through. It took a ridiculous outburst when it was time to go shopping one Saturday for us both to have a hug and cry about the situation and then we found our way forward. I think his way of getting though this was to try and make sure that I was ok and cheer me up when I was down and it must have been difficult for him to watch me go through this as his mother died of cancer 3 weeks after diagnosis so it must have been a horrible reminder for him of her last weeks. Maybe you need to be blunt to him about how you feel and ask for more support but we have to remember it is very difficult for our loved ones who have to watch us go through it all and they can only imagine how we are feeling. My realisation came through when it was time for the operation, I was terrified and would openly admit that I did not want to go through with it but knew i had no choice then I realised I had the easy part as I would not be waiting for the phone call as to it being over, worrying about if I was alright, I would be asleep throughout it all. I felt a fraud at how quick I have come out the otherside of this disease when I read how difficult this journey is for others but it is all very real and difficult for all of us. Congratulations on becoming a grandmother soon, I have a 4 week old grand daughter and it is just wonderful and something really positive to pull you through this difficult time. Thinking of you through this difficult time. Kasianne

[maggie_ganderto]

Thank you for your lovely reply. Yep, the last few steps into the operating theatre are going to be a huge thing for me, but I am concentrating on coming out the other side! Good wishes to all of you out there Maggie

[maggie_ganderto]

Hi Kassianne, Thank you so much for your encouragement. It really helps to hear from someone who has been there! The lead up to the operating theatre is one huge challenge for me but I'm trying to focus on coming out the other side and of course meeting the beautiful grandchild. Good wishes to all of you out there Maggie