When I was first diagnosed, I didn't know how I'd cope. People said I was really brave, positive and strong. I really had no option but to be. I had to be open to everything including the idea one's frame of mind plays a role in survival.
I took a lot of lorazepams to deal with my anxieties, but I did meditate and force myself to look at what I still had going for me.
The thing is you have to get through it one way or another, and it's best to get through it living like you mean it...curling up and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to change a thing. Even if being positive only plays 0.5 percent in survival, at least you feel less shitty and it's an extra 0.5 per cent in your side.
I don't know what's happening. Same time last year I didn't know anyone who had cancer. It was something that happened to other people. Now I know 2 people who I didn't meet in hospital who are battling bowel and ovarian.
I have fears. Like what if this means my lifespan has been shortened. Bug the thing is it's just as possible I might live longer because I'm actually aware of my health. Before I thought I wad invincable. I could drink coffee, eat junk, not eat... Get stressed and not eat. Get lazy and not exercise.
I know they said lymphoma just happens. It's causes multifactorial. Some say 21 st century living / or should it be late 20th century living...it's bad luck. I have no idea, but I think feeling sad and weakened didn't help.
Maybe some people can be miserable, eat junk. Drink, do drugs and they are fine. I obviously had the propensity to get cancer.
There's a lot we don't know.
My great grandfather lived to 103. He ate cockroaches.
Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.