So after a whole lot of dicking around... i was set to land back in sydney on monday BUT there was a massive thunderstorm and i missed my connection in Dallas. I had to stay in a hotel (a very nice one at the expense of American Airlines LOL) till my next possible flight out at 9:55pm the next evening. So i didnt actually get home till tuesday morning. It was strange being home for the first time since loosing my dad, and it still upsets me that during this all i had to say goodbye to nick again because with such short notice he couldnt get the time off to come with me. I feel like everything that has to be done after my father passed is done and ive been useless to my brothers. And while in the USA no one could get the money from banks because in the end my dad wanted me to execute the will and leave my brother out because of his busy job. All ive managed to do is the funeral programs and a photo tribute(because im pretty tech savvy and my brothers are not so skilled in that department). Its still so unreal he isnt here. and i dont think id have coped if i was here when it all happened. While my heart is broken and i feel so lost with out him, i take comfort knowing he is not in pain anymore. Today is his funeral.... and im not ready to face this day. its also 1:30 am and im HORRIBLY jet lagged :( the only thing making home life bearable is that my little brother got a dog. so i know im never alone in the house. he got an 8 month old staffie named trouble. and he really is trouble when i leave him alone in the house. any way beautiful people take care of yourselves and your loved ones <3 Manda
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