In 2 months time it will be 2 years since I was diagnosed with cancer. I just had a phone call from my youngest sister ,18 years younger than me, the first contact since she was told. It was to say thanks for the Christmas card we sent. Actually my husband did that one amongst others. I had crossed her off the list in my mind. She asked how my eye was and I replied it will always be the same (thinking she was asking about it constantly weeping). I realised by her silence that she probably thought I had an eye cancer because that was what Mum thought it was at one stage and my sister got the info from Mum. I explained a bit about it and after a little while she changed the subject and we talked of other things. Then she had to go , This left me a little angry after I hung up. I don't understand why she rang ,maybe guilt because I had always dropped in if driving down her way and we had made a special trip there and back to drop Mum and she could visit.She lives about 4 hours away, one way. We had given her children many ,many books as they are avid readers. We had shown an interest in her family . She made no phone call to me in all that time. I am a bit puzzled .
7 Comments
Contributor
Sisters aren't all they are cracked up to be.Mine let me down when I needed her. Try to let go and use your energy on people who you can rely on. Take Care.M
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Contributor
It amazes me that family can be like that, at themoment my dad is recovering from a total laryngectomy with a wound that won't heal due to a salivary gland fistula & now after having dad home for one night (after 12 weeks in hospital) he is back in ICU due to pneumonia....My brother lives 6 hrs away but in all this time he has been down to visit dad 5 times...I'm exhausted due to working full time & staying with my mum, visiting dad & also doing all errands for mum...I asked him for help & he said he has a business to run !!!! Also it seems that because I am the eldest all this is my responsibility...I am so mad..Guess who won't be getting a christmas card this year.
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Contributor
It amazes me that family can be like that, at the moment my dad is recovering from a total laryngectomy with a wound that won't heal due to a salivary gland fistula & now after having dad home for one night (after 12 weeks in hospital) he is back in ICU due to pneumonia....My brother lives 6 hrs away but in all this time he has been down to visit dad 5 times...I'm exhausted due to working full time & staying with my mum, visiting dad & also doing all errands for mum...I asked him for help & he said he has a business to run !!!! Also it seems that because I am the eldest all this is my responsibility...I am so mad..Guess who won't be getting a christmas card this year.
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Super Contributor
You're right . I didn't let on how I felt .I never heard from her last Christmas because I think I left her off the list since I hadn't heard from her all year. I had decided that if/when I have a reoccurrance she will not be told . My cancer is not one that gives up but she wouldn't know much about it because she never asked me. I had gotten over it that some family members showed they cared and some ignored the situation completely. That was until the call yesterday. Thanks for your reply. At least your brother made some effort .You are a good daughter to your dad and being the eldest shouldn't mean more responsibility .Every situation is different. Have a good Christmas
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Super Contributor
Thanks for your reply.I agree with what you said. Have a good Christmas
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Contributor
Hi Silly, Sometimes people can cut like knives. It's too hard to work out where your sister is coming from. I have followed your posts enough to know you are a wonderful, caring and genuine person. It's easier said than done, but if you can, try to put her out of your mind and enjoy today (after you've let off plenty of steam first). I hope you have a really lovely day today.
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Super Contributor
It didn't hurt me much as I was nearly over that but I became a bit annoyed or even a bit angry after we hung up.I think it was because I had buried the hurt and moved on and it brought it back ,not as strongly as a year or so ago. Anyway I will deal with it again and move on . I appreciate your imput. Hope things are ok with you.Thanks for your lovely comments too.
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