Hi everyone, I'm new to this site even though I was told about it a year ago. Wish I came earlier. I had a first time seizure out of nowhere in July 2010 and 6 days later I was having a brain tumour removed. Grade 2 Malignant (Slow growing). So slow in the last 12 months it has not grown a millimeter. My Doctor suggested we "wait and see before we start Chemo" for the first month. Then I went 2 months later for another MRI. Then 3 months then 6 months. Up until 2 weeks ago and my cancer is still sleeping beauty. I have my seizures under control now and I'm looking at starting full time work again. Each time I get so worked up before the appointment. I just feel like "this is it, I won't be lucky anymore". The doctor tells me good news and I burst into tears anyway. Is this a normal reaction to great news? My emotions are getting increasingly hard to control. I want to be relaxed and easy going like I was before. I think by not talking with people in similar situations I have failed to really let me accept what has happened and what is happening. Thanks for listening. Live to Love Katie
7 Comments
Super Contributor
It's great that you started using this site. I don't have the same cancer as you but we all have similar emotional responses. I have only started to cry once since my diagnosis and that was after I saw an eye specialist who was only giving a second opinion about my surgery, He said I should have my eye and its surrounds taken out. I only shed a couple of tears and stopped but crying is a great release and gets the tension out. Maybe I'd be better off crying occasionally but I'm not a crier. You will meet others here who have or know someone with the same cancer as you .You will also meet many who understand how you feel . I think most of us get nervous before an appointment ,not sure what the test result will be ,even if we are optimistic. Welcome to this great little community!
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Occasional Contributor
Hi Katie, Crying is very good, although it is needed to come to an end each time and that can be hard. My partner just tells me to breathe deeply and that helps. My cancer was 11 years ago and I can still get very emotional over little things. I understand the raw emotion before each visit, I have polyps in my small bowel and every 6 months or so I have a gastroscopy to remove the largest ones. My "gastro man" used to say that after the next one there'd be no more large polyps and the checks would go out to 12 months - that has happened once last year. After the 12 months another gastroscopy only to be told that there were a couple of large ones (first time he'd called any large) and that they would need to be removed over a few sessions with 3-4 months in between. Over the last few years I had come to the conclusion that every time I have a part of bowel removed (only small bowel left anyway) that they just grow in the next section. This year gastro man said that to me - aren't I clever. Anyway, yes everytime I am worried that the very least there is one too far down and hence another operation is required. After 2 small bowel operations I really don't want anymore, but that is the way it goes. So, the stress is very understandable in your situation and yes, I do understand very much where you are. All I can say is let yourself cry a little, especially if it is in relief - much better than otherwise - and be gentle with yourself. It must be very hard to cope with it all, have you had any councelling? May help Will be thinking of you, craftyone
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Super Contributor
katie I think it is quite normal to be nervy before an appointment It is an emotional Journey my wife says the time passes so slowly for her when we get near an appointment with the oncologist for blood results for me as my cancer shows in tumor markers for me i try and turn off it works most of the time. best wishes kj
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Dear all, PLEASE NOTE: This commercial post has been removed by the Administration Team as it breaches the terms and conditions of usage for the website. Kind regards Kate Cancer Connections Admin Team
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Thank you all so much. I didn't expect a reply so soon. Today was the best day I can remember. Taking the first step and allowing myself to vent about cancer and reading what is going on with all you beautiful people has opened my eyes. We are all here supporting each other when we need it. My family are great but they wrap me up in cotton these days. Treat me differently than I would like. I feel like I can't express myself. Thanks again for taking the time. Katie
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Contributor
Dear Katie my husband also has a brain tumour and thankfully it is stable at the moment but yes it is unbelievably stressful waiting for the results each time. Swinging between hope and fear. I am so glad that you have joined this community as the support and understanding available here is wonderful. Cheers Terese.
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I am new to using this site as well... My journey started in Sep 09... and I can understand your anxiousness... My 3 monthly check is in a couple of weeks... first the CTscan and bloods next week then the following week to see oncology... I've been doing it since early last year after my fist bowel op in feb, I was given a colostomy bag, then had a liver resection around july... then in nov had my bag reversed and my port removed... I feel like I should be used to it by now but nothing changes... and I dont tell my family how I am feeling as I think it scares them, and why do that I dont want to worry them. They know I have my appointments but I tell them it's no big deal. I tried to used listening to Music while waiting for my appointment with oncology but I could still think so I have changed to listening to Audio books that way I listen and concerntrate on the stories... I have used that for my chemo.. I just felt it worked best for me... But you just have to try different thinks untill you find what works.
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