Putting up with the items with breast cancer.

[glenys48woods]

Would someone help me out after having a mastectomy and not having a recontruction with a false breast? This is what I have, being flat on my right side after a mastectomy in 2010. I don't like my false breast as I don't want to accept it. Why? It is because I lose when I take my bra off and gain the weight when I put my bra on. This to me is annoying. I find also when I lay in bed it is OK to be on my right side as the left breast is heavy and satisfying to me. Then if I lay on my left side it is upsetting as my right breast has gone. I can't cope with what I have said to you. I find that others who don't have the experience like this I don't connect to them. Please help me soon as this is quite upsetting me so much. Glenys.

[glenys48woods]

Does anyone understand to what I have said above? I have had a mastectomy in Oct 2010 without a recontruction. Then I have to put up with a false breast. Does anyone know how this feels with them? To wear a false breast feels quite different to a natural breast. Glenys

[kasianne]

Hi Glenys I am sorry to read how you feel but I do not necessarily think you will get the answers you are looking for on here as it is an internal feeling you need to explore either with a counsellor or other form of therapist in order to come to terms with your situation. I did not have breast cancer but my mother did nearly 17 years ago and she is still going strong and she too had her right breast removed and wears a false breast. I really believe it comes down to your own attitude towards the situation as she is grateful to be alive and the fact that she can leave her house and no one would ever know she has been through cancer unless she tells them. Although I to have had cancer I read the stories on this site and it makes me realise how lucky I am to still be alive and also that I can hide my scars from surgery under clothes, there are many with brain tumours and head and neck cancers who do not have that luxury and have to endure others staring at them whilst they go about their daily business.There have been numerous partners who post about losing their loved ones and that just reinforces how lucky I am to still be here today.I have managed to gain weight and my hair has grown back enough now to actually style so no one knows I have been ill these days unless I tell them. I think in our situation we have to look at what we have got and not focus on what we have lost as if we remain focused on the negatives then we will not be able to enjoy the gift of life we fought for. I apologise if my response comes across as harsh but we need to accept our individual situations and make the best of what we have as if nothing else this cancer journey is a big enough fight whilst we have it and we should not let it spoil what time we have left as it has already highlighted that life is short and unpredictable.

[The_Rowan]

Hi Glenys, As Kasianne said, it's all in the attitude you have in regards to the whole cancer thing. My mother had a radical mastectomy in the early 80's, but did not let "grandma's fake boob' get in the way of her setting out to fulfil her bucket list before they were trendy. Mum and her fake boob learned how to ride a horse at the age of 52 (getting thrown off the damn thing and all), toured Europe for 3 months doing many of the things much younger people do today, and generally just got on with living life. Her motto was "I don't know how much time I have left, but I'm going to fit in as much as I can in whatever time I have left".....and she did. Sadly, Mum lost her battle in 1985, but it was her attitude that got me through my diagnosis and treatment for Uterine cancer in 2011. Please try to focus on the positive areas of your journey as much as possible. Spend time with your family and friends. Good thoughts and goals will help you overcome so many of the obstacles that those of us on the cancer treadmill all face. Take care, Leah

[glenys48woods]

Hi everyone, Would there be someone who has a false breast as I want to ask you a question. How do you accept your false breast and treat it as a friend? How would you cope with it by taking it off each night to go to bed? Would you think it is giving you a break? Have you seen the last Breacon book as I am referring to the front page of it? Question: How would you gain your inner strength to move forward? Glenys

[glenys48woods]

Dear Kasianne, Unless you have been personally through breast cancer I feel you wouldn't know what it is like till you go through it yourself. I feel for your Mum to be in that situation as I am. False breast replaces the natural one and women don't like it. being flat as a pancake, and lob sided is not my cup of tea. It takes a year or more to get over a mastectomy and then there is a lot of grief. I do agree that Life is important, but I feel this touches everything of you if you go through it. Be careful as your mother has had it Glenys.

[kasianne]

Hi Glenys I think you have missed the point in my answer, my mother had breast cancer is is more than happy with her false breast as she feels that it is a small price to pay for life. She has now seen her grandchildren grow up and also is flying from the UK to see her first great grandchild next month. She helps a lot of people through the support groups in her home town but this is all down to her attitude and acceptance of what has happened to her. You are trying to tell me she feels the same as you do but she doesn't. She clung to a desperation throughout her treatment of radio therapy and chemotherapy to get through it and losing her breast was not what she was worried about. She was a nurse so maybe she had a better understanding of how to get through the psychological barriers and was able to utilise the counselling services on offer to her. I am more than aware of the risks to myself but feel breast cancer is the least of my concerns as the cancer I have had a far higher risk of returning and i am checked regularly for a re occurrence of the stage IV cancer i have already had which is more of a concern to me. Breast cancer is heavily researched and the survival rates are far higher these days depending on the type you are diagnosed with there are many cancers as I said before that are often diagnosed too late for people to have the luxury of worrying about a lost body part as they cling on to life through all the treatments in an attempt to live that bit longer and the treatments available are still very experimental. This is also partly due to lack of information to diagnose the symptoms of some cancers. I have had scares of ovarian cancer after my initial diagnosis of oesophageal cancer. I think cancer no matter which type you have affects you and your loved ones and how you deal with it is your way forward. Your responses in regards to people not knowing what you are going through if they have not had breast cancer is very shallow as you make comments regards others lack of understanding you without understanding their stories. I have read your story and you were very lucky not having to endure chemotherapy or radiotherapy which gives you a very limited understanding of the affects of such treatment on peoples bodies and restrictions on their ability to live the lives they would like. I did not have radiotherapy but have read peoples stories and feel that I was very lucky to have been able to avoid it. My chemo experience was unique in the fact that I actually got better and went from having to be fed through a machine to being able to eat again before my surgery. I am well again now and have many scars all over my body from numerous surgeries to get to where I am now but my cancer experience was easy compared to others and that is something to be grateful for and as I said before if I wear clothes then no one would when i leave the house that I have been through this and the same is for you. I may not have lost a breast but i have a scar that runs from the top of my back to under my armpit, another from my rib cage to my belly button and my lower back and abdomen both look like I have been shot at due to key hole surgeries and numerous drains and feeding tubes.So everyone who has undergone surgery has an understanding as they live with their personal reminders of their cancer experience and I feel the way you express yourself belittles their ability to emphasise when some have to deal with very visible deformities and are unable to hide it as we can whether it be with clothing or false breasts. I again apologise if I come across as harsh but I do feel that you need to seek professional counselling away from this site as i believe there are more deep seated issues for you to deal with.

[Allicat]

Hi Glenys, The Beacon is from BCNA. Have you been to their website? There are lots more women with breast cancer there than there are here. I've got an implant so I don't know what it's like with a falsie. If you talk to some women with them I expect they have lots of different opinions and experiences but maybe that will help. Best wishes Allicat

[greiv55]

Hi Glenys i had a mastectomy late december and did receive reconstruction without having much time to think about it, I had a tissue expander inserted during my operation, which was very painful, and within a couple of weeks i then received a serious infection which landed me in hospital and on antibiotics for 2 and half months, and also another operation to removd the expander. I am dealing quite well with the prosthesis that i now have, i do find it rather heavy, but i find it does look very natural with the correct fitting and bra, when at home i remove my bra and just go flat chested on this side under my clothes Linda

[glenys48woods]

Hi Linda, That is good to know for me but not for you. Thanking you for letting me know. Some days I do the same thing as I go flat chested but it feels unbalanced too. Would you go for another reconstruction? Glenys xx