So I’m eating my cereal this morning, a huge step as I was on ensure for awhile and thought id be stuck with it and this weird thought pops in my head……I’m going to be scared not being with my husband, he’s always been there, saved me from a DV relationship, offered me a home and his heart for over 20 years it’s been us as a team….I’m worried leaving him, breaks my heart he will raise our grandchildren on memories of me, him sitting home alone at night, working out the remotes lol…….but it hit me I’m also going to be without him and I don’t know how I handle that without another dose of dizapam 😢 I smell his clothes while he’s at work trying to absorb him….I’m scared what awaits me and I’m scared he won’t be there with that reassuring hand squeeze…..I gotta get my tears out now he’ll be home soon and when I’m happy he’s happy so I gotta have my happy face……sorry bout my ramble….don’t know why this hit me today 😢

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