Hi, I thought i would give blogging a go, im 56 and not very computer literate but feel i have alot that needs to be said about my illness and my experiences, that to be honest, i cant express sometimes to the people i love. My daughter has convinced me to express my feelings and thoughts in this online journal, i must say i was and am still, a little sceptical about this. Im not sure what to expect. But im hoping to hear from people who are feeling exactly like i am. Having been through two cancers and then discriminated against and dismissed unfairly post my 2nd cancer, this experience has been very difficult for me to deal with. My emotions keep going up and down and sometimes i find it hard to look at the bright side of life, that i survived. This cancer, like most - has left a hole (literally) in my life. Im now finding it very difficult to eat, to swallow food, sleep, be happy. Im trying to keep myself occupied but at times i dont have it in me to get out or even get on the computer. Its been nearly 1 year and a half since my operation for throat cancer and i am still in alot of pain, experiencing bleeding and soreness. I am on pain medication but alot of the time it doesnt help. The simple pleasures in my life for me i feel sometimes, are gone; simple pleasures like eating, telling my daughter i love her and just having motivation to do things!
6 Comments
Frequent Contributor
Can I please be the first to respond? First of all I hope seeing this response goes in your simple pleasure category along with food, your daughter and motivation. Because you now have one more good thing in life. Congratulations for making a success of blogging. Im 55 and have a recurred bone marrow cancer, chronic kidney failure and the prospect of dialysis in the not too distant future. So, I haven't had any bits cut off - yet - but I can relate to a lot of what you said. I do hope you find simple pleasures here. There are many things to share. Many. H
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May I say that you do have a voice on this site. You now have a place to express yourself without fear of discrimination. You are not alone with your feelings, you can reach out and find others with similar experiences. I’m sure you will become an old-hand at this computer blogging caper in no time. My first blog, I was a little apprehensive but I have benefited immensely from joining this site. That your daughter loves you and cares deeply about your welfare is very clear in her words. Please keep writing, there is always an ear to listen …..or perhaps I should say two eyes to read. Warm Regards, Reindeer
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Regular Contributor
Hi No Voice, Welcome to the world of blogging. I never thought that it would be something that would help me but it certainly has. There is no judgement here and, as reindeer says, you will always have a voice. We listen and understand. S
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Occasional Contributor
Hi No Voice I would like to join Harker, Reindeer and Samex in saying welcome to the site, and blogging. I admire you getting into the blogging - I have been on this site in groups etc for a while, and still haven't found the courage to blogg! I like how you expressed that sometimes it's hard to see the bright side, that you survived. I struggle with this at times too. The emotions go up and down, and I work hard on living in the moment, and appreciating what I have rather than what I've lost - but sometimes it's hard, sometimes I don't know how to enjoy the simple pleasures. I do get a lot of inspiration from the people here though - sometimes I come away from this site with my spirits uplifted, or my courage strengthened. This is a good place to be - an oasis in the world that has carried on after my cancer crisis. I do hope you find some relief from the pain, and that you enjoy your time on this site. Take Care Zen.
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Hi No Voice, I would also like to welcome you to this blogging. I understand exactly how you feel, I have been there too. My bowel cancer was diagnosed on Black Saturday 7th Feb, 2009. I couldn't understand why I survived. I felt I could not get back anything of what was once "Normal" Mind you it is still a struggle at times. (Flash backs) I was watching the Jim Stynes preview on the TV and that immediately took me back to my dark place. Then on XFactor the other day there was a man who had tongue cancer and was endeavouring to live his dream and sing again. That took me back once again. (Thank God that this passes quickly) I listen to relaxation tapes which I bought from the Cancer Council, these are of tremendous benefit to me. They help me relax and forget about other things. I can say that although my ordeal started 18 mths ago, it has only been 3 mths now that I am physically, emotionally and mentally able to "Get Back Into Life". I am venturing and trying everything available to go forward. What helped me the most was after speaking to Cancer Council Helpline, I was put in touch with Monashlink where I saw a wonderful lady psychologist, who has pulled me through in a remarkable 3 months. I am now able to give back a little to the community that has helped me. I did some volunteer work for Daffodil Day and I am now active in Girls Night In. This activity has taken my mind off my health and inspires me to do things daily and that is how I have managed to keep my sanity. I hope you will feel better soon. Please remember that everyone takes different times to heal When you and your body are ready you will come out of this - I know. Best regards DaphneRose
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Super Contributor
Hi No Voice It is amazing how loss of taste and saliva affect us so much. I too have had that and still do from time to time. I understand what it is like to not be able to speak, although my brush with that was temporary thank goodness. It could easily have been more permanent and I suppose it still could. I hope you are travelling a little better. Just take it all slowly and seek professional help if you cannot get out of the big black hole. Head and neck cancer is really quite challenging and the treatment extremely arduous on the body. Thinking of you. Julie
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