I was diagnosed with breast cancer September last year. I have been so strong for everyone around me even down to hiding side affects of chemo so they would not worry. BUT now I have had enough and I feel for the first time I dont want to be strong and I need to break. I have never asked why but now I do. Why am I the only one in our family history to get cancer, why out of everyone I grew up with does it have to be me, why is there a chance that I am the one that could become just a smell or memory for my children. My husband lost his mum to breast cancer, so I have felt that I can not show me being weak and then 6 weeks ago his dad was diagnosed with brain, liver and lung cancer and after four weeks he was gone. My husband has said heavy heartedly that he can not be my rock with everything that is going on but who is if he is not. Everyone around me has no idea of what goes through my head and how scared and tired of it all I am. I have hidden it for so long that now I dont know how to tell or show them.
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