When my mother was pronounce terminal and told me the prognosis I just said something like "well we all die at least you know what from". It might sound flippant writing this but for my mother she likes strength and logic not tears and denial.
Since then she's been given a palliative care nurse (she hates that word and really couldn't they think of a better name for it!) I think my father needs counselling...he is still in the "she will get better mode" The oncologist first said "Up to 2 years" but looks like it's spreading faster than they first thought...she just spent time in hospital having more tests.
She has Breast, Lung cancer and bone cancer in the spine. Because of the bone cancer being in at least 4 places they don't think it's worth operating for the lung and breast tumours and this will only affect her quality of life.
So when you are terminal, that's all it becomes...a ticking clock. Like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Life becomes the management of pain, the consoling and the jokes to make life of a crap situation.
My mother and I weren't on great terms for many years but in the past 5 years before she was diagnosed we have become good friends and I am thankful for that.
