Couldn't have got through the 2012 without all you wonderful bloggers. Wasn't able to get to counselling so thank you everyone. Whether you are caring for your loved one or now grieving, counselling through Palliative Care was amazing and got me on track. Remember, you can have Pall Care Counselling when you need it. I wish I had taken it earlier. My Kevin said no and I was happy to go along with that. He didn't fully understand what it was about. They could have also helped with things like filling out forms for Centrelink etc. Make life a bit easier and accept the help. Love to you all. D
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Hi Deni I have tried to reply to you away from Minx's blog. I feel she needs acknowledgment and support of her vey fresh grief and loss So I hoped to reach you with a private message cant find the pathway so posted here. Thank you for your thoughts Special warm hugs for your downer day/s and also your days of being ok. Your first anniversary is close nearly a month away. How are you coping? Any special plans/ rituals? If its any constellation I too still don't know where to place my feet although I feel a "cross road/s" is/are coming so I am waiting to see the directions that present (and to find my path without the physical presence of Lorraine) I found the anniversaries of the times when Lorraine's deterioration was significant returned me to my grief. Often it was not until my feelings had subsided and I reflected that I was able to understand. The march of time made my short term memories dissipate It was something that I did not want to loose (its like having a second death of her with the loss of those memories). I can not keep them as they are no longer reinforced by her presence on a day to day mundane level. Now I rely on my intermediate and long term memories. The best part is I also lose the irritating small day to day things that plague relationships. I am also able to call her all those nasty things and she cant retaliate :}....well in this lifetime (as in what is left for me) Then again I had a dream of Lorraine the other night......... OMG she my come back and kick my arse but now in my dreams...........women Hugs Geoff
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Dear Deni55, You'be been in my prayers these past days. Just wanted you to know that we have you in our thoughts. Amanda.
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Thank you so much Amanda for remembering. It helps knowing that other people out there are thinking of me. I hope things are improving a bit for you. The anniversary date 28Nov wasn't too bad. It slowly caught up a couple of days later, with lots of tears today. It was like when he first died. Grief and yearning. The road is certainly full of bumps and potholes. All we can do is put on our seatbelts and remain positive that we will one day find our new purpose in life, fuelled by a passion from our love. Again thank you
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HI Storm, Hope you are doing ok. The first anniversary has come and gone. The actual day wasn't too bad I had lunch with Kevin's sister and got through the day ok. I posted a tribute on my FB page and in the Herald Sun which I quite enjoyed doing. I found some lovely versus from a book called "Safe Passage" and sent his mum some beautiful flowers. The day after I didn't do so well, with lots of tears and yearning today, just like back then one year ago. Was a difficult day today yet have got through it. Here I go again.Just another hurdle. Like you, I am not missing the "irritations" I only see our relationship as beautiful and whatever irritations would have been dealt with. I have had a number of dreams too. We might be in for it someday. Lots of love....Denise
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