[this is an excerp from a post I made on another 'leukaemia support' site back in 2006 in the UK]
It came about one night while out to dinner with friends, I wanted to sit at a particular table and my friends wanted to sit at another. Having always liked to 'win' I put on my best sulky face and said, 'Oh, but I have cancer!' A few of my friends then said, 'can you actually claim things if you have cancer?' I looked at one thick friend and said 'no, you idiot, its like a 'sympathy card' - you dont physically have a card...'
Later when I told my father about this misunderstanding he came up with this brilliant set of rules for we cancer sufferers and I will type it out below for you all. Be sure to experient at your own peril:
This is to certify that the bearer..................................... (print name) has had cancer, the big C, spanish dancer, etc., of one kind or another.
The effects of the treatment are many and varied, as is the individuals response, and many non-camcer sufferers fail to understand this.
Accordingly, this card entitles the bearer to a range of considerations, including but not limited to the following:
* Queue free acess to any event, gathering, fascility or public infrastructure.
* A seat of the bearer's choice on all public transport.
* A guaranteed prize in all state and international lotteries.
* Access to a designated "big C" check out at all supermarkets (superfast lane).
* Free access to any public toilet or other fascility requiring coin entry.
* Garbage servises to collect at designated times so as not to disturb the sleep of the card holder.
*Special 2 for 1 meal deals at all fast food outlets, year round, not just when asvertised.
* Immediate assistance in any retail store when shopping, by trained staff, not juniors.
* Advance notice of specials, sales, promotions, deals, discounts, etc at chosen retail outlets.
* Use of device to immediately change traffic lights/pedestrian crossing to suit the card holder.
* Use of similar device to hold trains, buses etc if cardholder is running a little late.
* Vending machines to always return more in change than the amount tendered
*..................................................(other, card holder to enter)
