Hi everyone, I haven't been on line for a while. I was trying to pretend my life was back to normal. I had a stem cell transplant in 2010,pretty awful treatment for Multiple Myeloma. I took a few months off work, then returned to work in 2011. I managed quite well and noticed family and friends rallied around. What I am now noticing, is everyone thinks I am completely back to normal.I still suffer from terrble fatigue and I feel the experience has scarred me emotionally. I have increased my working hrs from last year and am feeling quite overwhelmed by everything. I think because I look sort of how I did before the transplant everyone thinks I am back to normal.I know I am not who I used to be, it is a very difficult place to be in as everyone expects so much from me. I am finding this point, post transplant to be the most difficult and I am feeling very alone with these feelings. Did anyone else have a similar experience? Rachel C
Super Contributor
I don't know anything about your treatment and how different you look. I do know that most people seem to think that once treatment is over and you have resumed living the way you did before ,you must be ok now. Some never mention the cancer again .If you want to talk about it you get the feeling that they think you are just harping on the past and/or looking for sympathy. This isn't true of everyone ,of course. This is why sites like this are good. You can say what you need or want to say and someone will understand.Cancer ,even after recovery, is life changing.
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If people think you are the same as you were, after cancer treatment, and expect you to be the same as before, they have never been to the place you have been to, and have no understanding of the reality of this horrible disease. A lot of people do not like to say the word cancer, and hope everything is in the past and it will now go away. Lets pretend it never happened, its ok now. but for those that have been through it ..... It does scar emotionally, and you are one of the lucky ones, you got through. Take some more time for yourself. The fatigue may your body coming to terms of what you have been through. Work and money have no value in the cancer world. time to yourself and quality of life are the values. wombat4
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Frequent Contributor
Hi Rachel I have multiple myeloma too and have had cell harvesting but at this stage no need for a transplant. I am currently in the middle of a six month course of Velcade which has worked before and seems to be doing its thing again. I experienced something similar with my first remission. I became extremely depressed when treatment concluded and everyone went away. That's when I started to look for answers for myself and make my own plans for how to live. No-one else understood. (People here do, clearly.) It is sometimes hard to do but you need to forget about expectations and enjoy the full life you have - whether you are at work or not. I have given up work and am on a pension. Never been happier. What reading are you doing? H PS. I know. It's 3.28am, but that's how it is sometimes.
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I know how you feel Rachel and I agree with all the comments above. Silly, I love what you said about feeling like people think you are harping on about cancer and/or looking for sympathy. That is exactly how I feel. Most days I like it when people don't mention cancer and treat as if I am the same normal person I was before and somedays it bugs me.
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