I'm 23 years old - last month I was diagnosed with TCC in the bladder and had it removed. It was Stage 1 and my future treatment is thankfully only a cystocscopy (spelling might be off on that one!) in 3 months to check if it has returned, then at 9 months, then every 12 months. The diagnosis was a huge shock for me, as we were just ultrasounding my abdomen as a precaution - my doctors believe I might be coeliac due to some bloating and pain. This came in the midst of house hunting with my boyfriend of 5 years, and car shopping. Everything going on in my life was all about growing up, moving out. That's all come to a halt. Now, I feel frozen. I have had many areas of my body checked since out of paranoia, and have only the colonoscopy and endoscopy to go. Even if they are both clear, as were my other tests, I can't stop my mind from thinking, "where else is it? where will it come back? Will I notice it? Will I catch it? How old will I be when I die?" I know this is a ridiculous mindset to those suffering from more severe cancers than mine - I know mine is trivial compared to those struggling with cancers like lung, breast, prostate etc. but I can't stop my mind from wandering. So I guess my question is...how do you deal with that? Once you're 'over it'...then how do you move on from it? How do you talk with your family, who to them it is all over and you're 100% healthy, that you can't get those thoughts out of your head? I still don't know what has been causing the bloating (testing for coeliac in a few weeks) and I have this huge fear - what if I buy a house with my partner, then suddenly it returns and it's so bad that I leave him struggling with a mortgage on his own in a house all on his own? Am I just paranoid?
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