It's been now over a month since my last chemo, my oncologist told me 'you are cured'....well I was happy for a moment or two but then started questioning in my head... Am I? How do they know there is nothing left behind? How do they know that it's not back already? ..... Nobody can hear my screams, my fear from not feeling safe anymore. Even though the therapies where awful as possible they somehow kept me busy... my body.. my mind. I used to think, when I finish with therapies I will go back to where I stopped and now what? My legs still hurt from chemo side effects, my blood count is still low so that I'm caching for breath, I put on my weight which has to go but how.... and that sadness and fear, will they ever go away????? O God I love this place where everyone understands what I'm talking about, thanks for that....
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