so where do i start? well this week my mum told me she hated me, my boyfriend told me to snap out of my "sooky" mood (ive got depression) and my friends have all deserted me.. im struggling to go to work as it is.. i feel so upset, as ive supported my boyfriend thru his cancer journey for one year, and continue to do so.. its almost like he cant take me having a rough time.. i feel like i want to run away and never come back! my family who i still live at home with, are no where near as supportive as id want them to b.. im feeling very lonely and sad :'(
16 Comments
Occasional Contributor
I am sorry to hear you are having a rough week, sometimes these moods just seem to take over, you mention you have depression, are you getting support for that? If you have not joined a support group maybe you can look into that. You must look after you own health, after a year you must be getting tired and worn out from all of this, make time to see your friends, plan a girls day out or something, leave the cancer at home that day, sometimes you become so one tracked with your cancer journey with your boyfriend that you forget to live a little just for yourself. Be a little selfish. Give yourself a treat.
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Super Contributor
Good advice from Deb.See your doctor if you don't feel better soon.
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Contributor
Hi Maddie I feel your pain. It is an unbelievable place to be in. Sometimes as the closest one to the person travelling through the cancer journey it is as hard maybe even harder than having the cancer yourself. You feel their pain but still need to live the reality of this life especially if there are children involved. My only suggestion is to try to not lose who Maddie is in this. Try in some small way to stay connected to others outside of the cancer monster. Life does go on, be part of it. Hugs.
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Contributor
Hi Maddie I feel your pain. It is an unbelievable place to be in. Sometimes as the closest one to the person travelling through the cancer journey it is as hard maybe even harder than having the cancer yourself. You feel their pain but still need to live the reality of this life especially if there are children involved. My only suggestion is to try to not lose who Maddie is in this. Try in some small way to stay connected to others outside of the cancer monster. Life does go on, be part of it. Hugs.
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Contributor
Hi Maddie I feel your pain. It is an unbelievable place to be in. Sometimes as the closest one to the person travelling through the cancer journey it is as hard maybe even harder than having the cancer yourself. You feel their pain but still need to live the reality of this life especially if there are children involved. My only suggestion is to try to not lose who Maddie is in this. Try in some small way to stay connected to others outside of the cancer monster. Life does go on, be part of it. Hugs.
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Not applicable
Hi Maddie It is a tough journey being young these days, let alone supporting someone you love who has a serious illness. I agree that if you are starting to feel isolated, and you feel sad most days, head straight to your GP. Under Medicare, every single one of us is entitled to subsidized counselling from a trained professional - you just need to see your GP, and explain that you need someone (as well as your friends here) to talk to, who can help you with your sad feelings. Keep in touch and we will listen to you and support you. All the best Richard
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Occasional Contributor
Hey Maddie - deb is quite right, you need a break - do something that you normally dont do, like, say...go out with some friends and have a good time? ... Its collateral damage - everyone is affected by the C journey, those closest the most. Its not really that personal, its not just about you, but your the one who is there, so you cop it. Sorry. People are hurting, they lash out and say things they regret. People dont know what to do, so they withdraw. Others cant cope, perhaps visions of their own mortality or painful memories of someone elses journey.. Anti depressants can help, its up to you if you want to. They dont zonk you out, (except for the big shiny red ones, dont touch them, truly horrible ) - nothing will change around you, but you seem to be able to be calmer about it all. So, be of stout heart and good cheer, young lady. The whole trip is a learning experience for all of us, hits a lot of things most people haven't had to deal with until now...it can be rough, for sure. Andrew the oldhippy
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Contributor
thanks everyone 🙂 im feeling a little better today, but i do agree that i need to take time out sometimes for myself.. its so hard because i dont get along with my family much and i cant afford to move out! im hoping things will get better once i talk to a councillor.. i think i need to speak to someone who doesnt know me..
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Super Contributor
See your gp about counselling.If he/she can recommend someone who bulk-bills you can get 5 free sessions .It is a good decision. You will feel even better soon.You deserve to be happy.
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Occasional Contributor
Hi maddie, great advice on here. How are you doing? Annie
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Contributor
hey guys.. doing ok better.. still have to go to gp, and find someone to talk to.. not sure if maybe someone who is specialized in cancer would help.. also brought st johns wart which is a more natural approach rather than anti depressants..
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Frequent Contributor
Hello Maddie, If you want to talk to someone, have you tried the help line 131120. They are available week days from 9:00am.
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Occasional Contributor
That's great to hear Maddie you are doing better. Remember it is ok to feel down but as long as we can pick ourselves up again. Has the St Johns Wart worked? I found berries, blue berries, straw berries anything with berries in it is another natural product that acts like chocolate. So it releases all the happy chemical in the brain. Every summer I add this to my morning yoghurt. Love it when they are fresh too. Let me know how you are going maddie. Take care Annie
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Frequent Contributor
Maddie, Hope you are feeling a lot better. Did you call the help line? I had an interview with the Cancer Connect people yesterday for volunteer work. What they do is: if you call the helpline and want to talk to someone that has experienced the same cancer as you, then they put you in contact with them. Helpline number again is 131120. Hope this helps you.
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Super Contributor
I recommend the help line too. Glad you are feeling a bit better. We all have our down days .Thank God for the up days!
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Contributor
thank you for all your replies.. i am feeling better, the st johns wart is working (when i remember to take it!).. today is the last operation for my boyfriend, he's just gone in to have two lung mets removed from his lung.. fingers crossed! ive been having a lot of bowel probs but i think stress and anxiety can do this to you.. i havent gotten in contact with the helpline but i did at the start of all this and the nurse was very helpfull to me.. i will contact them again soon 🙂
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