About maddie86

maddie86

hello poss... ah men. For some reason men dont accept things like we do. My husband had terminal bowel cancer... at the start of it all he tried to end our relationship! He travelled overseas without me, did lots of talking to ppl and sometimes id get upset. Sadly he passed away... i think he was so scared he felt sometimes it would be eaiser to deny it. My hubby would get asked questions about his cancer and he'd reply " not good.. hey how was your weekend?" Please dont take it personally. Give him space, and time, then kick in... he needs to chat to his dr and have a plan, it sounds as if he is scared atm. I think he might be trying to figure out what to do and not hurt you to.... best of luck xo

maddie86

hi there im very sorry to read about whats happend... my husband passed away in 2012 at the tender age of 25. He to was so strong up until the very end. How are you coping? Are your children at an age where they can take care of themselves? My advice to you is take care of yourself as well. Will your husband be wanting to spend his last days at home? Mine did, and i stood by his wish and nursed him until the very end. However it was a lot of work for me as i had no sleep or couldnt really go anywhere. I dont regret it though as that was his wish. I find coming on here for a good vent can also help 🙂 I to felt alone throughout my hubbys cancer, and sometimes still do... i am very relieved however that im not living in the 'cancer world' anymore. I have moved on, met a lovely man and moved from melbourne to the country. Its hard because of course you can't erase the past, but life does get better. For now take each day as it comes, roll with the motions and you will get by. xxx

maddie86

hi there.... my husband was diagnosed with stage four bowl cancer at age 22. Sadly he passed away at 25. It was a struggle and he wasnt very open about his cancer. He kept it all bottled up and used to have bouts of bad anger. A list of things which i found helpful Watching funny movies together Making sure you both get time to go on special dates Take care of yourself, go paint your nails, get a facial or a massage. Find a good book. I found reading about other ppls struggles with cancer very helpful. Jim stynes, patrick swayze's book... Try and see your friends when you feel well Take up a meditation class and try and eat healhty.. i believe diet has a lot to do with it! Have a nice hot bath with lots of candles and a glass of wine cancer is no fun! we had the same struggle. he never wanted to save his sperm and we argued a lot about it. He didnt see it as impotant where as i wanted children my whole life. Can you save your eggs? Make sure you discuss all this with your drs. Please PM me if you need a chat 🙂 x

maddie86

hi there. my late husband had terminal colon cancer at the age of 22! i was with him throughout the whole process so i know what to expect if youd like to ask me any questions... he had chemo, radiotherpay then four major surgeries for his bowel, lung and liver. Then it was more chemo, unfourtunatly his body couldnt handle it. I hope that you can overcome this horrible disease.. He started on an alkaline diet that i put him on along with the medical side. After a few weeks of the alkaline diet his tumors shrunk... then he gave up and went back to eating cookies and fast food! Still i believe diet can help. GOOD LUCK! XX

maddie86

hi there! My husband had stage four bowel cancer... he was 23 when he was diagnosed... He had chemo, radiotherapy and four major surgeries.. he passed away 2012 at the age of 25. You are in for a rough trott.. but can i say having a new baby will really make you feel like youve got something to fight for. I believe if my husband was stage three he would have made it. After all his treatments he got the 'all clear' which was unusual because there arnt many suvivors for stage four. Then it came back 😞 He was a strong guy though and fought hard... I truly hope chemo works for you! Feel free to ask any questions you need to Maddie

maddie86

wow that sounds so painful! are you in the all clear now? My husband had bowel cancer at the age of 23, it had spread to his lungs and i remember the drain tube coming out.. he said it was the worst thing in his life. He has passed away now, but i remember they gave him morphine then oxycontin and oynorm to take home. Are you still on painkillers? I unfourtunatly am on oxycontin for a few issus of my own and its very addictive! Please be careful with pills if they give them to you! you are really lucky to have a nice partner supporting you 🙂 it makes all the difference! xo

maddie86

hi cazza... my late husband had stage IV colon cancer... he was on the same treatment as you, he had that, then radiation then surgery. All in at the start the said he had only 6 mnths to live and was in operable, he managed to live 2 and a half years... unfourtunatly he died 2012. i put him on an all alkaline diet that i believe made his tumors shrink.. he being a young 24 years old didnt want to eat the food i was making so decided to just eat watever.. i truly believed this alkaline diet worked for a bit... look it up. Its supposed to kill cancer cells and alkalize your body.. Im a big believer in alternative treatments along with mainstream medicine. I hope you are doing ok, and remember to rest lots especially during chemo! all the best xx

maddie86

hi gee gee... when my late husband got colon cancer he was the same. He was 23 time of diagnosis and i remember he wanted to even break up with me. To be truthful i stuck by his side... but sometimes i think about if we did break up.. would my life be different? We fought all the time when he was sick. His first chemo session he wouldnt even let me come he took his horrible family instead, and all they did was bicker! He used to yell and get agro a lot, and he would sometimes really shut off... When he found out he was terminally ill, and he didnt have much time he took me to new york and proposed.. it was lovely but then after that he went OS without me, 3 times.. it was hard because i wanted to spend all my time with him i just couldnt comprihend why he would want time away from me. He passed away 2012 and it was very difficult. I miss him but not the anger, the cancer and everything else. Im happy now but i still think about all the times he upset me! He was even grumpy on our wedding day, but i guess i would be to if i was as sick as he was... Cancer is no easy jouney but i believe its not easier for the spouse of the person who is sick its just as hard, if not worse! please feel free to chat to me anytime xx

maddie86

Hi everyone! My husband passed away from con cancer in 2012.. I used to religiously use this site and it helped me through some of the most darkest times! After my husband died i struggled for a very long time. His family were just awful to me (more than usual) so I've cut them out of my life. His father didn't mention me in his eulogy.. Nice huh? I wasn't invited in the funeral car, thought of or anything! His family completely took over! I ended up in hospital the day after he died due to stress. My body was literally fighting me! I had nothing left. I hadn't slept in days and his family made me do everything. They were awful! I never got any of his ashes or even things he had left me as his wife. Now legally i know yes i can fight them. But emotionally? No. I just don't want to and simply cant let those evil f&$@s back into my life. I am now with a beautiful man who is eight years older than myself and treats me wonderfully! Its so nice to have a drama free relationship! I am always concerned for his health and get paranoid. I even made him get a colonoscopy, because he had tummy cramps! I know its from the trauma I've gone through, id just rather be safe than sorry! A lot of ppl judged me for moving on. I got with Ben 6 months after my husband died. Ben knew Braeden, they did the same sports and knew each other through others but they weren't close. Ben has helped me so much through my grief, supported me when everyone else had given up... I do t think its right to judge a widow because you just don't know how they feel. I would like to tell you all that i sill be here to help you if you need me from now on. Please reach out to me if you need to! I have literally hot rock bottom, and although I'm still not perfect (who is?) i do love helping others. I know how it feels to watch the love of your life slowly die, to feel panic and uncertainty. It passed. It really does. The grief does never go away but it truly does ease up. That gut wrenching pain you get when everything floods you? Stops. The daily crying? Stops. I know everyone is different, but after attending a few grief groups for young people this seems to be the go... Loosing a spouse at any age is hurtful but when they are you g it seems to unfair. I hope you all have a good sleep, i hope i can help some of you get through this... You will get through this. I promise xxx

maddie86

Im so sorry Melanie. Ive not been on here for a year and a half but just started reading your story... Im just so so sorry.... X my husband died pretty much the same way from colon cancer. He was 25 and we had no kids. You will find now, you will feel ever so sad but relieved. I felt guilty at feeling relief but i did. I missed him Like crazy, still do but didn't miss the cancer!! As i write to u now I'm writing while my lovely boyfriend is beside me asleep... My life now is wonderful and my partner has helped my grief. I know you still must be in shock, i was like that for weeks i even ended up in hospital. His family were a pack of as***les so i have no contact with them now. I miss him every single day but I'm a lot happier than i was... Life seems how it should.., please feel free to message me anytime, i will help you anyway i can! My condolences to you and your family..... Maddie xxxooo

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